


Astoria's Ghost

by arwrite



Series: Astoria's Ghost Collection [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Christmas at Hogwarts, F/M, Hogwarts Hospital Wing, Master/Servant, Nice Draco Malfoy, Nice Severus Snape, Redemption, Summer at Hogwarts, Werewolf Reveal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25147804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arwrite/pseuds/arwrite
Summary: Jo serves the prestigious Malfoy family. The choice of what she wanted to do with her life was taken away when she was just a baby, but when she is given an opportunity to go against the Malfoy family, she will discover what she is made to do.
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Astoria Greengrass/Fred Weasley, Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger
Series: Astoria's Ghost Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073168
Kudos: 4





	1. The Servant Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of 11/15/20, this chapter has been edited for flow, grammar and spelling.

Uncle Luc seethed in the doorway, he looked like fire would come out of his nose at any moment. "Why aren't you downstairs?"

I awoke from a deep slumber. "What, Uncle Luc?" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes from the crusty sleep that sat underneath.

He stood over me and roughly snatched me. "Get up!" He pushed me forward onto the landing. "You didn't make us breakfast this morning and now you will pay."

Uncle Luc's demeanor changed over the last several months. 

"Why are you doing this?" I wanted to crawl into his lap and be comforted by his warm hands. When I was upset, he would rub my back to calm me down.

He grabbed my shoulder with the snake-fanged cane that carried his wand. "You need to learn your place!" He released me and I fell the last couple steps down to the main floor of the manor. 

"But why?" Perplexed, still trying to shake the grogginess that consumed me. It was six in the morning, the day after I planned a party for over 200 guests. I ran into the kitchen to make eggs, bacon, and toast. My five-year-old chubby hands could only do so much at once, but I tried to make everything in about 30 minutes. 

Once everything was plated, I sat down at the table as well. 

"You will not sit here anymore, go into the kitchen, where you are supposed to be." Uncle Luc drawled, pointing back towards the kitchen.

"Okay," I said, shakily.

Master Malfoy strode into the kitchen where I ate breakfast. I yelped and sank to the floor in a bow. The bowing was new to me as was everything else since his demeanor toward me changed.

He took his wand out from his cane and started to circle me, my heartbeat quickened.”Plaga Ventit,” he commanded. A flash of yellow light soared out of his wand and my head hit the ground. 

My head swam like it was underwater. My heart stopped beating and I gasped for air. My eyes fluttered open, I sat up and immediately vomited all over the floor. Numbness spread throughout the right side of my body.

Uncle Luc read his Daily Prophet with a half-eaten piece of toast in front of him. As I staggered out, he said, “Clean yourself up, I can smell you from here. We have some errands to run.”

I blinked at the early summer sunshine as we stepped out onto the gravel street of Diagon Alley. The streets were bustling with witches and wizards grabbing the latest fashions and books for their summer holidays.

I followed behind Uncle Luc wondering where we were going. I lagged behind as the numbness had not requishlished its hold on me. We stopped at Ollivander’s Wand Shop.

_ Why were we here? I wasn’t of age yet. _

“Hello Mister Malfoy, how are you today?” A small man squeaked as he hobbled up to the counter with thousands of wand boxes behind him. 

I had never been into this shop before: everything was covered in a thin layer of dust, but the coziness that ebbed from this space made me more comfortable than I had been in ages. Uncle Luc sat in a red armchair as Ollivander measured my left arm. 

“Mister Malfoy, I have to urge you this is not the correct thing to do.”

“The Minister of Magic signed off on this, this is above your pay grade Ollivander,” Uncle Luc mused, his fingernails rubbing them on his black robes.

_ Was I getting a wand? This was so cool! _

Ollivander continued, “She could lose some of her magical ability and will have to come back for more wands. No one should go over two, it is against wand principles. Magic will not work for her like the typical wizard if you get her a wand now.”

“Get her a wand.” He replied sternly.

Ollivander worked in silence: taking measurements of my arm span, hand length, and wrist to elbow length. He pulled a few wands. The first wand that I tried turned the flower pot that sat on a nearby table into ash. Ollivander quickly put that wand away. The second wand was much like the first, only I burst the countertop into flames. I tried five other wands before I waved the correct one, nothing happened, Ollivander smiled. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. 

“For what?” I asked.

“That is quite enough, go wait outside, Josephine.” Uncle Luc demanded. He grabbed his cane and pushed me out of the way.

I winced at the name, Uncle Luc had always called me Astoria, but now he called me by my middle name, which I hated. __

_ I don’t know who came up with that, but they needed a talking to, I needed to live with it!  _

I leaned against the shop window, whenever we came to Diagon Alley, Uncle Luc would always stop and get Draco and I ice cream cones. I licked my lips in anticipation. Uncle Luc stormed out of the shop, shaking his head. “I spent seven galleons on you, you better not mess this up, I had to call in several favors.”

“Okay, Uncle Luc, can we go get ice cream now?” I tried to hold his hand as we weaved our way through the crowd.

He laughed. “This is not a social visit, Josephine, this is business, you are business now.”

“But why? Did I do something wrong?”

“Just shut up, you are meant to be invisible, follow me.”

We turned down the street where the alley closed in and a crooked sign read “Knockturn Alley.”

Uncle Luc, Aunt Cissa, Draco and I had been here before a couple of times, but it was only to go to Borgin and Burkes to sell some of the things that Uncle Luc didn’t want in the house. We turned down another street, even further down the alley; a man mumbled into his pocket and a woman eyed me like I was her next meal. I stepped closer to Uncle Luc, trying to grab his hand again, he pulled away roughly. He stepped into a broad shop, the sign on the door read, “Servant and Slave Administration.”

The lights were blinding, the symphony of typewriters and people talking intoxicated me, my good hand seized my left ear as I tried to block out the noise. Uncle Luc knew rang a bell at the front desk. A portly woman opened the window separating the people typing and talking loudly from the rest of the office. 

“Oh, Mister Malfoy, sorry to keep you waiting.” She hurried over to the door to let us into her office that was much quieter, I breathed a sigh of relief. A large desk sat in the middle of the room with only one chair facing it. There were a couple of picture frames with moving photographs of children smiling into the camera. I moved to sit down, but Uncle Luc held me back with his cane, the teeth of the snake hurt as they dug into my shoulder. I yelped. 

“Well, Mister Malfoy.” The portly witch sat down behind her desk, opening up the top drawer and taking out a blank file. “You want to register a new servant, is that correct?”

“Yes,” Uncle Luc said, eyeing the witch. He sounded like this was a natural occurrence in the wizarding world.

“You know that this is mainly for House Elves or other such creatures who are beneath wizarding kind.”

“Yes, you said that there was a way.”

“Oh, yes, yes, there is a way, I just wanted to make sure you understood.”

“Yes, I understand, I am not an idiot, get on with it.”

“Alright.” She puttered away, opening up the file.

“Name of servant.” She inked a quill and waited for his response.

“Astoria Josephine,” I muttered, Uncle Luc hadn’t told me my last name.

“You will speak when spoken to, otherwise, stay quiet,” he growled, not even looking at me.

“What will she go by?” The witch didn’t seem to notice the way that Uncle Luc treated me.

“She will go by Jo.”

“Her duties?” She ran down a list of questions.

“She will cook breakfast and dinner, clean the manor, and do any other odd jobs that we request of her. She will also go to school, I will not have a stupid servant girl,” he spat.

“Good choice,” she said, putting some more notes down in my file. “How will you punish her?”

“My snake fangs are a powerful potion-carrying agent and some various spells,” he rattled off. 

They were speaking as if I wasn’t there, I started to sniffle.

“Her expiration date?” 

“I haven’t decided yet, that can be decided later?” Uncle Luc smiled ruefully.

“Yes, of course, if she does disobey you and you want to kill her right then, you will need to tell us the date and time of the decision, but it is just a formality.” She waved her hand and smiled at him.

_ Wait, if I disobeyed him, he could kill me? _

“What will she call your family?” She asked, turning the page of what looked to be a lengthy legal document.

“She will call me Master or sir, my wife Mistress or ma’am, and when Draco is of age Young Master Malfoy or sir.” He spun his cane lazily while answering. 

They spoke at length for another 30 minutes, my eyes blurry with tears as I watched the clock on the opposite wall. My chest started to seize up and it was hard to get a deep breath of air into my lungs. I sluttered.

“Give me a second, please.” Uncle Luc smiled at the witch. He turned to me.

“You need to be quiet, Jo, or you will be punished.”

“But, I did nothing wrong, I’m having trouble breathing, right now.”

“You are just being dramatic, now shut up, so the important people in the room can finish their conversation.”

I let out a moan, but stayed quiet after that.

“Alright, Mister Malfoy, that about does it for me, I’ll send in a notary and then you will be all set.”

We sat in silence for several minutes, the ticking of the clock the only sound.

The notary walked in, flicked his wand and made a copy. He carried with him a stamp and a pad. 

“Let’s see,” he said in a gruff voice, “Jo, I will need your signature.”

“Uncle Luc, I don’t want to, why do I have to?” I sniffled.

“Because if you don’t you will be kicked out onto the street, no one will take you in, you know the power I hold in the ministry.”

The notary handed me a quill and I signed my name. I learned how to sign my name just that week at school. Uncle Luc signed after me.

He stamped both papers and shook Uncle Luc’’s hand.

We trudged outside to the crowded street.

_ What did this all mean?  _

****************************

“Jo!"

I snapped up from the counter where I had fallen asleep, drool coming from the corner of my mouth. I wiped at it. "Coming Master Malfoy," I called from the kitchen. 

I retrieved the butter from the counter and ran down the hall to the formal dining room. Master Lucius Malfoy sat at the table with his Daily Prophet open.

"I am sorry, Master. I haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately," I started, my voice small.

Master Malfoy held up a hand. "No one cares, Jo, I will have to punish you for this, Crabbe's servants never forget anything."

_ That is because his servants are House Elves and they are created to do the housework, I am a human girl, who makes mistakes.  _ I thought, though I said. "I understand, I am sorry." Bowing, setting the butter in front of him.

As quick as if something had bit him, Master Malfoy had his cane in his hand, a snake’s head, rearing to strike at the end of it. This was to be my punishment. Master Malfoy had several potions stocked up in his private quarters, the snake's fangs were drenched in one of these potions, at any given time. Since the Malfoy family was all about keeping up their image, my shoulders were an acceptable place for the scars. I could always cover up my shoulders and no one would know the turmoil I faced on a daily basis.

"This is for disrespecting me. A servant girl should never be seen or heard. She should do what she is told the first time, without being reminded." He stuck the snake's fangs into my shoulder. I screamed and melted to the floor. Master Malfoy took the fangs out of me, after what felt like an eternity.

"Now go get ready for school." He walked away into his office.

With my wand, I levitated all the dirty dishes into the sink, with another tap, I turned on the water. I then started on the mopping and dusting in the dining room with another flick. 

I wondered if I made the right decision in signing my life over to servitude every day. My recurring nightmare was not a nightmare, but the worst day of my life. My mind kept replaying it trying to figure out where I messed up, where I had gone wrong, what changed. I still hadn’t figured it out.

I attended a prestigious private school for magical families. The reason why Lucius even sent us was that he didn't want to be bothered with homeschooling like some of the other pureblood families. We needed basic writing, reading, and math to go to Hogwarts. 

When I got home at three that afternoon, I needed to make dinner, clean the house, and make sure that Mistress Malfoy's hair was perfect for next week’s gala. Mistress Malfoy enjoyed doing a run through before the big event. At the gala, we were celebrating Draco's birthday and his acceptance into Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I walked down the street with Draco as he threw tiny balled up pieces of parchment at me. 

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“You need to call me Young Master Malfoy in a week!” He taunted me.

“Yes, I know that Draco.”

“I am going to be your Master!” He sang all the way down to the school, the bell rang to signal the start of the day.

At least at school, I could blend in a little bit, no one wanted to sit near the servant girl so I mostly was undisturbed. Unless, Vincent and Gregory came after me on Draco’s orders.

I swept home completely exhausted, Vincent and Gregory finally caught up with me and Draco watched as they gave me a bloody nose and several bruises on my ribs.

Master Malfoy sat at the table drinking tea and doing some paperwork. “You need to clean up your face, Jo and then go upstairs to Mistress Malfoy.”

“Yes, Master.” I bowed.

Draco rambled in and smiled. “Did you see what I did, Dad?”

“Did you do that to Jo’s face?” he asked, impressed.

“I ordered Vincent and Gregory to do that.”

“Very well done, son, you will be a wonderful Master. You have kept her in line.” Lucius and Draco sat down at the table.

“Jo, untie my shoes and put my bookbag away.”

“Yes, Draco,” I responded.

I knelt down beside Draco to pull off his muddy shoes, he pushed me over and both of them laughed. I slung both backpacks over my shoulder and went into the kitchen to get Draco’s snack. He liked grapes and crackers with juice. I tapped my wand and the bags levitated to a little alcove just beyond the kitchen. I readied his snack and returned to the dining room, bowed and then quietly hastened upstairs to where Mistress Malfoy looked at herself in the mirror in front of her dressing table.

“How was your day, Josephine?” She glanced up at me as I tapped my wand and the wash bowl came toward me.

“It was fine, thank you for asking, Mistress.”

She leaned back and I washed her hair. It was best to be quiet during Mistress Malfoy’s hair washing. I used a drying spell and styled it to make sure she liked what I thought up for the gala.

The dresses were brought in and Mistress Malfoy picked a floor-length green satin dress with black emerald earrings and a ruby necklace.

I fitted it and then hemmed it in the room off Mistress Malfoy’s bathroom. A knock came at the door and I ran to open it. The tailor stood in the doorway ready to fit Draco into a suit for the gala. 

I stood in Draco’s room, it was littered with pieces of fabric. Draco shifted uncomfortably as the tailor, a flaboquent man, pinned another hem. 

Draco was such a git so I was happy to watch him suffer as I picked up the pieces of fallen fabric. 

“Josephine, show me what you have planned!” Mistress Malfoy barked from the other room.

I hurried away. I bowed and said, “Well, Draco is getting his suit fitted, there will be a string quintet to play, a five course dinner with champagne, I have timed dessert perfectly with the delivery of the post.” 

She nodded. “Very good, what will you wear?”

“I thought I would just wear my servant’s uniform.”

“We want you to wear something else, but not anything to make yourself stand out, I’ll have the tailor leave some of the leftover material.”

“Thank you, Mistress Malfoy.” I bowed and left to work on some of my math homework in the kitchen before making dinner.

I had gotten used to the long nights and early mornings. However, I needed to sleep for at least two hours to function. If I didn’t get enough sleep, because of the curse, I would have debilitating headaches that no amount of magic would cure.

The night before the gala I was up until four in the morning. I lit a candle to go upstairs to the little room between the Malfoy's and Draco's room. A simple chest of drawers in one corner and a bed in the other, it was simple, but just what I needed after a long day. I went into the tiny bathroom to wash my face, tomorrow was going to be a long day.

I skipped school the following day to get everything ready for the party. I would pay for that later, as demonstrated by the death glare that I received when I came into Master Malfoy's office with his lunch. 

I cleaned, baked, cooked and created my dress for the big gala. I made the fifth birthday cake of my servitude. The cake that I would not participate in, but would clean up. Draco and I had grown up together since we were the same age to the day, so we shared a cake. I smiled at the early memories of gifts in colorful paper and blowing out candles side-by-side with Draco.

I pulled at my newly created dress: a black dress with green accents around my nonexistent bust. 

"Jo!" Narcissa said. "People are arriving and I expect you to take people's coats."

"Yes, Mistress Malfoy." 

_ Show time. _

Master Malfoy magnified his voice to get everyone's attention. "First of all, I want to thank everyone for coming. It is our pleasure to present our birthday boy, Draco Lucius Malfoy." Everyone clapped politely, as Draco came down the stairs with a suit on. A small smile pulled at my lips as the uncomfortable feeling was emanating from him. I needed something to make my life worthwhile, this was a boring existence. Seeing the Malfoy family squirm was what I lived for and gave me just an ounce of hope.

The party continued, I snuck throughout the room collecting empty champagne glasses and crumpled up napkins.  _ All for a Hogwarts letter, this was over the top! _

As dessert was served, Master Malfoy magnified his voice once again, "Draco, come up here, please. The post just arrived and I want to read the Hogwarts letter aloud."

The post was in his hand, it was a bundle of letters. His eyes grew as he opened up a letter and then recovered quickly and read Draco's letter aloud. Everyone clapped politely again.

Draco wasn't very interested in his party, and because of that the gala soon ended. Draco thanked his parents politely and went upstairs with his friends. I cleaned up and was about to go to bed myself when Master Malfoy called "Jo, will you come in here for a minute?"

His voice sounded weird like he was tiptoeing around something important. He almost sounded nice, I hadn’t heard that tone since I had been little.

I went into the dining room to find Mistress and Master Malfoy.

"Jo, sit down," Mistress Malfoy said.

I sat, with bated breath, I waited, my eyes diverted at the dark wood of the dining room table.

"You have been accepted to Hogwarts as well. We have been talking and we have decided that you will go. You need to be home every weekend to help around the house and you need to keep your grades up. You will also be under surveillance from the Malfoy family, you never know who is on the side of the Malfoy family," Master Malfoy said, matter-of-factly.

My jaw almost hit the floor. "Thank you very much, you know I have always wanted to go to Hogwarts. You will not be disappointed."

"We better not be," Mistress Malfoy stated, " I am going to bed, I believe Lucius has some unfinished business to attend to." She stood up, kissed Lucius on the cheek, and walked silently upstairs.

Lucius took out his snake sword. I kneeled down so that he could reach me better. "Do not skip school, especially when you start Hogwarts, I have a lot of people that look up to me. If they know that you are connected to me, a low life, orphan, servant girl, who we are allowing to learn what the magical world is all about, my reputation will be tarnished. It will be very hard to repair that, and you do not want to see me when I am angry."

He stuck his snake fangs into me, I screamed like I always do. I had hope now, in three months, I would be going to Hogwarts, away from the Malfoy family.

For the last three months, I tried, I really tried to fly under the radar.

I tried to keep everything written down and as organized as possible so that I did not forget anything.

Though I did slip a few times and I tried to apologize and take the new scars to my shoulders without any complaints. I needed to reach Hogwarts, I needed to get out of here. I needed to learn and prosper and find out my destiny, I doubted that it was to be a servant to the Malfoy family for the rest of my life: deep thoughts for an eleven-year-old.

Just one more week before September 1st, my rebirthing day, that was what I was calling it in my head. After breakfast, I started cleaning up the dishes. Mistress Malfoy came into the kitchen and cleared her throat. I jumped, the kitchen was usually my domain so having Mistress Malfoy in the kitchen was very new to me.

"I am bringing Draco to Diagon Alley tomorrow at eight am to get his school things, you are obligated to come to carry shopping bags and we need to get you in tip-top shape to represent us well at Hogwarts."

I nodded my head and curtsied. 

I was getting new things, I had not gotten new things for myself since I had been seven. Mistress Malfoy had given in that time because she prided herself on everything being perfect in her life, at least on the outside.

I had only been to Diagon Alley as a servant a few times to carry the shopping for Master Malfoy and even then, we were not there for long. I excitedly packed what I was wearing on this great adventure and fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning, I rose as usual, at five, and got breakfast ready. It was the summer holidays so all the Malfoys would be taking breakfast in their rooms to avoid the heat of the downstairs kitchen.

I had extra time to clean when this happened so I placed the Malfoy's breakfast outside their doors and walked downstairs to clean. 

Mistress Malfoy, Draco and I were ready to go at eight, we went in by assisted apparition. It was not my choice of travel. I always felt sick, like I had been on too many roller coasters in a short amount of time after a large meal. I would rather travel by broomstick. When I flew, there was this sense of being free that I only felt when I was off the ground, though I was afraid of heights.

Draco and his mother went to get books first, they spent the least amount of time there. Mistress Malfoy had two packages of books waiting for her. Then we went to the robe shop. Madam Malkin was a surly woman, her assistant dressed me, while Madam Malkin dressed Draco. I felt bad for Madam Malkin since Draco was being so demeaning toward her. He talked with her like he knew her trade better than she did. Narcissa had to leave for a bit and a boy with lopsided glasses and untidy hair came in.

I overheard the conversation.

"Are you a first-year then?" Draco asked as if he owned this boy.

"Yes," he replied sheepishly as if he didn't know what to say.

"I hope I am not sorted into Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"

Before the boy with untidy hair could respond, Madam Malkin was done and she started fitting this other boy.

As Madam Malkin was shooing Draco away with his new robes in hand. "I'll see you at Hogwarts then."

"See you."

My robes were ready as well and we walked down to Ollivander's.

By this point, I had struck up a friendly relationship with Mr. Ollivander since he had seen me for three wands before. Draco went first, sweeping and sliding wands through the air until he had the perfect one. The wand was ten inches long, hawthorn wood, and a unicorn hair core.

I smiled at Ollivander, while Draco sat back in one of the dusty, red armchairs.

"Hello, Missy!" Ollivander smiled at me with a twinkle in his eye."How's everything going?" 

"It is going okay, it is a lot of work for an eleven-year-old, but I am making it."

"Are the Malfoy's still abusing you?"

"I would not call it abuse, when I do something wrong, they punish me with physical harm," I whispered.

"That is abuse. Just take care of yourself."

"Thanks."

As I tried many different wands, Ollivander looked at me as though I was a hurt puppy, but there was something else in his eyes too, there was admiration.

I was just doing what I needed to, to survive.

Ollivander said that my wand was acacia wood with unicorn hair, nine and a half inches long. I tried at least 20 wands, which Ollivander said that it was common to try that many since I had been exposed to the wonderful art of magic so early.

"Hopefully, this wand will be the last one you will need," Ollivander exclaimed as he tapped the side of his nose.

I thanked him and we left.

"Jo, go buy yourself an owl, that should be enough, I want to go buy something for Draco." Narcissa shooed me off.

_ Was she actually getting me an owl? _

"I need to communicate with you and I am not using one of our owls." 

I was still getting an owl. The animal shop was an amazing sight, all the owls, cats and toads, it stank, but it was a homey stench.

I told the shop keeper what I was looking for and he said that there was only one owl left. It was a red owl with white eyes with a damaged wing, but I could fix that up quickly if it was not the result of dark magic.

"I'll take it."

"15 galleons."

As I paid, the owl went to sleep in her cage. It looked so comfortable to be going home with me.

As soon as we were out of the owl shop, I went down to the ice cream shop and bought myself a small sundae and waited for Draco and his mother to return. 

That night, I was allowed to sit in the dining room with the Malfoy's. At these events, even though I was excited, I could not talk. I was just there, for show, to make the Malfoy's feel better about themselves.

As we were finishing dessert, Draco spoke, Draco was very well-mannered, and spoke when needed, but never spoke of his own accord at these family dinners.

"Dad, I want to tell you something."

Master Malfoy looked up from his cake and nodded at Draco to continue.

"Today, in Diagon Alley, Jo had a conversation with Ollivander that concerned me and I wanted you to know about it."

Master Malfoy’'s hand went to his snake staff, which rested against his chair.

Draco continued, "Ollivander knew about the abuse that you put Jo through, so Jo told him on another occasion. Jo then did not defend you, as a good servant should. A good servant has no voice, she should not be seen or heard."

My fork dropped.

Master Malfoy said, his voice dripping with venom, "Draco, I am very proud of you for coming to me with this, I shall require you to stay here as I punish her, it will be a good lesson for you when you have your own servant's one day. As a side note, we are not abusing her, we are punishing her, there is a difference."

I knew running would only get me in more trouble, so I put down my fork and slithered down from my chair so I knelt down by his feet.

"Hogwarts is a privilege, not a pleasure given to you, it can be taken away. I am not going to do that because everyone, who is anyone, knows that you are going with Draco. Though, I will make your seven years there a living hell, you will wish that you had not gone."

Draco sat behind his father, a bit concerned, but excited too. This was a rite of passage for him. Draco had never been asked by his father to watch what happened behind closed doors.

"Draco, please go and retrieve the green vial from behind my desk."

Draco hurried away, Master Malfoy stated, "I will make you wish that you were dead, you are still under my control, you represent the Malfoy legacy, I am disappointed in you, I do not know why I kept you alive. I would kill you right now, but I need you and it would look suspicious if I said I would send you to school and didn't. People would wonder what happened to you."

Draco came back into the room with the green vial, Master Malfoy dipped the snake's fangs into the liquid. "Turn around now," he commanded, I did.

The fangs were in me. I fell onto all fours. I writhed on the floor trying to shield myself from the cane, but couldn’t escape. My vision blurred with the stabbing knives in my shoulders. He let me have a break from the pain only to switch shoulders.

"Kill me!" I screamed.

Master Malfoy and Draco laughed.

"I told you," Master Malfoy shouted over my screams, triumphantly.

He left me there and Draco followed his father into his office.

I laid there, crying silently and then got up and did the dishes and cleaned the house before going to bed.

The next day, I rose and got everything ready for the trip. I packed everything for the carriage. I was so sore, I looked in the mirror that morning only to find my black eyes were puffy from crying, my red hair matted to my forehead and green splotches all over my shoulders from the night before.

I went to get the horses ready when Master Malfoy knocked on the barn door. I bowed.

"Scared of me, are you?"

I nodded.

"Good."

I continued to brush the horses.

"I want you to know that I have been in contact with the school, you will work in the library and the hospital wing, the old bat of a headmaster doesn't like it, but he is just the face of the school, I control the school. Draco will report back to us monthly whether or not you are upholding the honor of the Malfoy family."

"Yes, master!" I bowed again.

"Hurry up, we do not want to be late."


	2. At First Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of 11/16/20, this chapter has been edited for flow, grammatical and spelling errors.

I loved traveling and so I didn't mind driving the carriage to the station which was about 30 minutes away.

We got on the platform okay, I always marveled at how the muggles were so naïve about our world.  _ Their loss. _

"Don't come and sit with me Jo!" Draco yelled back once we were on the train. About 20 students heard him. I wanted the floor to swallow me up at that moment.

I wasn't even at the school yet and wanted to hide.

I wandered to the back of the train where there was an empty compartment and set my things down. Then three boys came in, joking and laughing, and stopped, "Sorry, do you mind if we sit here?"

"Not at all," I then sat back and watched the hills turn into mountains, trying to make myself invisible.

"Hi, I'm Fred and this is George." Fred said to me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I finally got a good look at him. He was a red-haired, freckly, boy with robes that were much too small for him. The boy next to him, looked identical.

"This is Lee," Fred pointed to their friend who was about my height and had dreadlocks, who smiled and nodded at me. "What's your name?"

"I'm J...I'm Astoria." I wanted to be known by my real name if this was going to be a horrible seven years as Master Malfoy promised.

"Well, Astoria, we are the school jokesters."

I smiled, I hadn't smiled in a very long time. "Thanks for the heads up." I tipped an invisible hat.

I rode in silence the rest of the way, listening to Fred, George and Lee's plans for the year. It was fun thinking about things that didn't involve cleaning or pain.

The train slowed and I thanked Fred, George and Lee for making me laugh.

"Anytime!" They waved to me.

"First years, this way." A monster of a man stomped up to the frightened first years and continued, "We will be going to the school in boats." He smiled down at me. "Don't worry, I am not as scary as I look, I am Keeper of the Keys and Groundskeeper at Hogwarts."

I liked him, Draco coughed so everyone heard. "Oaf."

The big man turned red. "Let's go."

All the first years ambled into boats, the water: perfectly black while the boats, ran through it.

I was at Hogwarts, the place of magic and mystery. The freedom of the wind in my hair, I finally felt like I could finally be someone, not Malfoy's servant, but Astoria. 

"You should be able to see Hogwarts, just around this bend." Hagrid turned around a gave us a smile

Hogwarts, the magical castle. It took my breath away, seeing it for the first time as a student.The murmurers from the other first years told me that I was not alone. I had seen it a few times before with Master Malfoy, but it had always been on business and never from this angle. 

************

Master Malfoy strode up to the castle with me following behind him.

“You will stay quiet and not draw attention to yourself.” He sneered as he waved his wand to open the main doors.

“Yes, Master Malfoy, of course, sir.”

I ran my hands through my coarse, red hair that had grown out in the past two years on Mistress Malfoy’s request. She said I emmanted more professionalism with it up, out of my face.

Master Malfoy stopped in front of an eagle gargoyle and stated. “Chocolate frog.” 

The eagle started to move in a circular motion. Master Malfoy stood on the steps that appeared out of the floor. He opened the door at the top without knocking. Behind the desk, sat a white-bearded man with half-moon glasses and kind eyes. He wore a vibrant set of yellow robes that made him look like a daisy. I smiled up at him and quickly glanced back down. I knelt by the entrance.

Master Malfoy and Professor Dumbledore spoke at length about the budget for the school since the ministry paid for everyone to attend Hogwarts. 

“I have another meeting, Lucius, will that be all?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll walk you out,” he said cheerly. “Who is this?” He smiled at me as I stood up where my legs had fallen asleep.

“I am Asto...Jo, I serve the Malfoy family.” I curtised.

“I hope to see you in these halls soon.” Professor Dumbledore held out his hand to shake mine.

I hadn’t been shown this type of respect in two years. I wanted to cry and hug this wonderful man.

Master Malfoy watched this unfold and glared at us.

We apparated back to the manor. “Kneel,” Master Malfoy said.

I knelt beside his office chair where I had been dusting.

“What did I tell you?”

“You told me to be quiet and not draw attention to myself, sir.”

“You disobeyed me.” He stuck the snake fangs in my shoulders.

I bit down on my tongue until I tasted blood.

  
**********

I winced at the memory and snapped back to the present moment.

We wandered out of the boats, the huge castle encircled us.

Overwhelmed, the big staircase in front of me, my legs becoming jelly, did I even remember how to walk? I stepped, timidly, up the first step, taking in all the grandeur of this wonderful place. I stayed back from the rest of the group. I wanted to remember this moment forever, this sense of belonging.

I didn't know how long I had been standing on the first step of the entrance. A stern-looking witch, in emerald green robes, her mouth narrow met my eyes. "Would you like to join the rest of the group?"

"Yes, of course!" I stated, feverishly.

I saw Draco behind her, mocking me.

The stern-looking witch walked to the front of the gaggle of first years and said, "In a moment, you will walk through these doors and be sorted. The house that you are sorted into will become your family; you will earn house points for representing your house well, any rule breaking will cost you house points. At the end of the year, the highest awarded house will win the house cup."

She left without another word.

Maybe Mater Malfoy was right, I was dumb. I didn't think of the sorting ceremony.

I was afraid of being put in Slytherin, I was even more afraid of what would happen to me if I wasn't.

The doors opened before me and I timidly stepped through them with the rest of the first years. There were about 60 of us.

The Great Hall wiped everything from my mind. Four long shimmering tables with the four Hogwarts crests over them, the ceiling was the night sky outside. I heard this know-it-all girl whispering to her friend, that it was bewitched to look like the night sky. It was beautiful nonetheless.

The first years gathered in front of a stool and the raggedy old sorting hat. The Sorting Hat opened its mouth and started to sing in a hoarse sounding voice. Enthralled, I listened with rapt attention. The item on the stool described each house, when it closed with Slytherin as being cunning and ambitious, I gulped, maybe I wasn’t cut out for Slytherin. I wanted to blend into the background.

The witch, who I now knew was Professor McGonagall, the headmistress of Hogwarts, started calling names when the clapping died down. 

Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Gryffindor, I memorized the list of houses.

_ What if I wasn't placed in a house at all? I would have to go home and die a servant to the Malfoy family. _

"Draco Malfoy." The headmistress called.

The hat didn't even touch his head before yelling. “Slytherin.”

I thought I saw a glimmer of relief on his face as he ran and almost tripped to sit in an empty seat at the Slytherin table. As the people went up to get sorted, I was sucked back into my thoughts of despair, until finally. "Josephine."

I hated that I was under the Malfoy's rule and known by my middle name. I stepped up. The sorting hat slid down over my eyes.

"Hello there." The sorting hat whispered into my ear.

_ Hi,  _ I thought back.

"You have a very interesting head here," the sorting hat continued.

_ Please don't put me in Gryffindor, _ I thought.

"Why, you have a great knack for it. Oh, I see, you want to be put into Slytherin, for you serve the Malfoy's. Alright, I will, but you need to become yourself at one point or another."

"Slytherin." The hat screamed.

I held back tears as I made myself comfortable at the Slytherin table.

_ Was I meant for Slytherin? Were some of the Malfoy's values rubbing off on me? _

The taste of a meal that was served to me instead of the other way around made me relax as if I didn’t have a secret life. I had never tasted anything so good as the feast that night. I even had dessert which there was never enough at the mansion left over for me.

After we were finished eating, Dumbledore announced a few things, but I was so sleepy that I wasn't really listening. I caught Fred's eye, he turned his head. I guess that friendship wasn't meant to be. I wish I could have explained to Fred, George and Lee what I was all about, but that would just scare them and get me into trouble. 

The Slytherin prefect led us to our common room, where we had to say Pureblood every time we entered. I disliked this password,  _ this was the understatement of the year _ , I didn’t even know if I was pureblood.

All the first year girls went right to bed, but not before I heard someone say in the dark, "I don't think that Josephine girl is Slytherin material." 

_ No friends here, either _ , though, at least I was away from the Malfoys.

The next morning, I rose at four, I was so nervous and excited. I took a nice shower before heading down to the common room. I wanted to explore the castle a bit before breakfast.

Professor Snape's office was around here somewhere. I couldn't find it, though. I guess I would meet him in class. 

It was seven thirty by that point, so I wandered back to the Great Hall. I ate my breakfast in silence. I was so relaxed that I didn't hear a girl come up to me and say, "You better watch your back! I know who you are."

She waited for a couple of minutes.

"Hello, earth to servant girl.” She waved a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, yes!"

"She is weirder than I thought." She told the other girls from our dormitory, they all laughed and walked away. They slung their perfect hair with the perfect amount of product in it that shimmered in the early morning sunlight. I felt so out of the loop. 

Professor Snape was handing out class schedules, I heard from down the table, Draco said. "We have all day with the Gryffindor's, kill me now."

I rolled my eyes, at least Draco didn't have a curse put on him to make learning 100 times worse. Ever since the curse, I needed extra time to absorb information, extra time to do my best work. The teachers at the school wouldn’t give me that and I doubted that the Professors here would either. I found that if I worked with my hands, I understood the information better. 

Herbology was our first lesson. I shivered as I tossed my outdoor robe around me that was clad in green and silver. Professor Sprout tapped her wand on a podium, she was a pump witch with dirt on her face, robes and under her fingernails. “We will start today with preparing the dirt. What is the study of Herbology?”

The class was silent. A sheepish looking boy with buck teeth, quietly raised his hand. Professor Sprout nodded at him. “It is the study of magical plants and fungi, but more than that, it is to forward the thinking that magical plants can save lives, both muggle and wizard.”

Draco snickered. “The muggles don’t deserve to be saved.”

A mousy, haired girl with big eyes, who I recognized from the night before, glanced down at that comment.

Professor Sprout said, “Five points to Gryffindor for the superb answer Mr. Longbottom and five points from Slytherin for that comment about muggles Mr. Malfoy. This is an inclusive school.”

“My father will hear about this.” Draco muttered as Professor Sprout continued the class. 

Then Transfiguration happened and it all went downhill from there. The headmistress taught Transfiguration and she already didn't like me.

“We will be going over the class rules and some introductory Transfiguration today. Please get out parchment and quills as you will want to write this down.” 

Everyone shuffled in their bags. Professor McGonagall spent the rest of the class period cramming everything she could into the lesson. 

“Transfiguration was founded in 892 B.C. quite by accident after a man of unknown origin turned himself into a newspaper. He did not turn himself back until his death in 930.”

She spoke a mile a minute and it was difficult keeping my handwriting straight and legible while trying to remember everything she was saying. At the end of the lesson, I felt at a complete loss on how I was going to pass this class. 

*********

“Master Malfoy, may I ask you a question?” I squeaked it was a week before I left for Hogwarts, he had just finished breakfast.

He ignored me which I took as a sign to continue.

“Can I tell my teachers about the curse you put on me? I will not use it as an excuse, but just so they know, so I can be the most successful in their classes.” I bowed and waited.

He picked at his teeth and thought it over. “Absolutely not,” he said, rather bored. 

“Thank you, sir.”

************

I couldn’t tell my teachers about the curse and I couldn’t ask for more help so I guess I would have to study harder than ever before. I just wanted freedom from the Malfoy’s. I was worried if I failed this term that Master Malfoy would take me home or just kill me. 

Potions was the same, Snape had a beef with the Potter kid, I felt bad for him. It wasn't his fault that Voldemort had tried to kill him and didn't succeed. 

**********

I came in with tea and biscuits, Professor Severus Snape stood in front of Master Malfoy’s desk. I knelt by the door so I was close at hand if I was needed.

“We need to be ready for his return, Severus. It won’t look good if we just move on with our lives,” Master Malfoy said.

“Potter killed him, his body was found lying with the Potters, I saw it with my own eyes.” Professor Snape started to pace.

“You know how powerful he is though, Severus. He will return, I know it.”

“How do you know?”

“A gut feeling.”

“That’s not good enough for me.” Professor Snape drawled. “We can’t just wait for him to come back and you can’t be in limbo for however long it takes for him to gain his strength back when we don’t even know if he is coming back.”

“I will be rewarded when he comes back.”

“If he comes back, so will I, I need to keep my cover intact and the only way I can do that is to move on.” He swept out of the room.

Master Malfoy sat back down in his chair and looked up at the ceiling.

_ He really was a lovesick puppy dog with no direction now that his master was gone! _

***************************

After lunch, we had our last class of the day: Defense Against the Dark Arts. I liked this class, even though Professor Quirrel was a bit dry, he had great knowledge and wrote everything on the board and explained it in detail. He even gave us ways to remember all the information. We were all laughing by the end because we created a song about the ways to cure a werewolf bite. 

Vincent beatboxed, badly, as we rapped out:   
“Oh no, a werewolf bit me!

What should I do?

I know what to do!

Silver and Dittany should stop you from dying!

Though you are out of luck when turning.”

Professor Quirrel clapped his hands and laughed a bit with us. 

I had the best sleep of my life that evening since I didn’t have Master Malfoy breathing down my neck. The castle was quickly becoming my safe haven. 

I got in trouble because I was out after curfew. I was just exploring the castle, but Percy Weasley didn't see it that way. He took 30 points away from Slytherin.

Word traveled fast at Hogwarts and everyone knew that I had lost points for our house by breakfast the next day. So, pretty much, no one wanted to be my friend and the bullying started that morning. Millicent Bulstrode took my clothes from the shower room and hid them all over the girl's dormitory. That was a great way to start the morning, _ not. _

The post arrived, I didn't take much notice, until Comfort, swooped down and nuzzled my arm with her beak. There were three notes tied to her talons.

_ Wow, I was popular! _ I untied them and poured Comfort some Corn Flakes.

The first was from Master Malfoy. 

_ Hello, _

_ I have heard from my informants that you have been adjusting well. You have been flying under the radar, good. _

_ I need you to make some friends so that you are not an outsider. The Malfoy's need our image kept up and it will not be if you are some weird, servant girl. _

_ Draco let his friends know that you are our servant girl on my orders, so you can't make friends with any of his friends. You are on a different level than him and do not deserve to have friends like him. His friends will get him places and make sure that yours don't. _

_ Your first day of work is tonight in the hospital wing, report to Madame Pomfrey. She will walk you back after your shift that ends at midnight. Then you have to work in the library all day Saturday and Sunday. Madame Pomfrey and Madame Pince will report to me weekly so I will know if you miss any sessions. _

_ Also, do not lose any more points for Slytherin, this is a bad reflection on our image. _

_ I'll be watching. _

_ Master Malfoy _

It was great that I was starting work so that I didn't have to be in the dormitory or common room that much.

The second letter was from Fred.

_ Hey, _

_ Why did you lie on the train? _

_ There is no reason to do that. _

_ Fred _

I wrote on the back,  _ meet me in the Great Hall at 7:30 tonight. _

The third one, I didn't know who wrote it.

_ The time might come that you have to choose between being yourself or your safety. _

_ Can I count on you to choose to be yourself? _

_ Write on the back of this note to confirm. _

I wrote in big letters:  _ BE MYSELF. _

I then tied the two notes to Comfort's leg and off she went.

My mind was all mixed up: Fred, Master Malfoy, this mysterious note. 

Right now, I had to worry about getting to Transfiguration on time, I'd worry about all this later.


	3. Fitting In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of 12/26/20, this chapter has been edited for flow, grammatical, and spelling errors

I made it to Transfiguration, just barely, and slipped into the back. I retrieved my quill and parchment, ready to listen and try to write down as much as I could.

My mind kept wandering over to the Great Hall. I didn’t want Master Malfoy to get upset at me, but I needed to make friends. I heard Master Malfoy talking about the Weasley's and based on his opinions, they would not get me anywhere.  _ And that is what he wanted, right? _

At the end of Transfiguration, I had a new essay assigned that was due by tomorrow and a plan on what to tell Fred.

The rest of the day passed without much trouble. Though, I now was on Professor Snape's bad side, almost as bad as that Potter kid. 

“Please write down the potion ingredients.” He started to ramble off the ingredients as the other students wrote them down. 

I tried to keep up, but I was worried about spelling and the amount of each ingredient.

“You may begin,” Professor Snape said and sat down at his desk.

I didn't want to draw attention to myself so I just sat there until the end of the period, completely defeated. A few sniffles escaped me as my heart pounded with the punishment that loomed.

“I will be taking 50 points from Slytherin.” 

"Why? I didn't do the potion because I was afraid to blow up the potions class."

"You didn't ask!"

"I thought that wasn't allowed!" I started to cry and Draco smirked from the doorway where he was walking out with his friends.

"You didn't even try and there are spells on the potions class for just that reason," exclaimed Snape. He continued, "Go before I take more points from you."

_ Awesome, _ I thought, Master Malfoy is going to be really upset at me.  _ Pain, yay! _ I smirked at my own sarcasm.

"Hey, servant girl! Can you massage my feet?" Millicent asked. "They are really sore with all this walking, even better, could you carry me to my next class?" Passing me on the way to the Great Hall for lunch. I shrunk back into another corridor until she passed.

They were chuckling as Professor Vector eyed me suspiciously.  _ I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I could not win. _

I stayed in the little corridor for lunch, I didn't want to face my housemates and endure more bullying. I did a simple summoning spell and a sandwich flew into my lap.

I picked myself up and ghosted to Charms. I couldn't stand out in any way, so I tried to "dumb-myself down." I hated it, I hated not being able to show my true self. 

Why?

Two words. One name.

Draco. Malfoy.

Master Malfoy did not want for his precious son, who was okay at school, to be understated, or outshone, in anything, especially by his servant girl.

Charms was over and I walked down to Herbology. Nothing to report there, I was good at working with my hands. My living was working with my hands to create something wonderful.

_ Or else, I was dead. Literally. Or in intense pain. _

I walked down to the library to get some work done before my meeting with Fred Weasley. 

The flash of red hair, the smirk on his face brought a smile to my face that evening. 

"Hi, I'm Astoria Jo," I said as I met him at the door.

"So your real name is Astoria?" He asked, curiously.

"Yes, my foster parents don't like that name. Once they found out that I was accepted at Hogwarts they were a bit apprehensive, but let me come so they could get me out of the house. Free food for me and their money would be more easily earned."

"So, are you a muggle-born, then?"

"I don't know, I don't know anything about my parents."

"So you weren't lying?"

"No, not exactly."

"Okay, because I don't like being lied to. Wanna go play some quidditch?"

Surprised at how quickly he forgave me, maybe this was a normal thing. To be forgiven?

"Sorry, I have some work to do and then I actually have work. My foster parents have a lot of push at Hogwarts so they wanted me to earn my keep."

"Who are they? Maybe my dad knows them."

"We will continue this conversation later, I really have to go! Thanks for hearing me out. Bye."

So, I sort of lied, but I mostly told the truth. I wasn't a part of the Malfoy family, but I lived there and they were getting benefits from me living at their house. So they were kind like my foster parents. Everything else was true. I kept telling that to myself to make myself feel better.

Would Fred not be my friend anymore once he found out the whole truth?

I ran to the hospital wing with my big bag on.

Right on time, wonderful.

"You must be the servant girl." Madam Pomfrey tutted as she was tending to what looked like a second-year girl with a nose the size of a melon.

"Yes, what can I do?" I asked, politely.

"You can start by putting your things in my office, washing your hands and putting on your uniform." Madam Pomfrey stated an air of stupidity in her voice. 

My uniform was not as horrible as I thought. I dressed quickly and quietly in a bathroom in all white with a red apron. I also put my hair up so it would not get in the way of my work.

"What else?"

"Please turn down these beds for me and then meet me in my office. I want to see what you can do."

I did this quickly, I wanted to show off what I could do. I wanted Madam Pomfrey to judge me on my abilities and not who I unwillingly served.

"What healing spells can you do?"

"I can't do any, but I can do a water spell and a fire spell. I want to learn as much as I can from you, that is why Master Malfoy wanted to be an apprentice under you. I believe that you are the best to teach me."

Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips, but nodded her head.

“I will teach you Episkey tonight. Every witch or wizard should have this spell in their arsenal. I will also teach you how to make a salve for healing cuts and burns.”

“Yes, Madam Pomfrey, is there anything you need for instructing?” I asked, jumping at the chance to distance myself from Master Malfoy.

“I need the doll from up there.” She pointed to her office. In the corner, was a mangled doll with several burns. 

I summoned it. I stumbled back with the doll’s weight.

“Put it here.” She motioned toward an empty bed. “Now not all nights are going to be like this, so after I teach you Episkey, I’ll show you where everything is.” Madam Pince shifted the doll so it resembled a patient. “This doll has bones like a real human body does. Episkey is uses for broken bones. The most that you will see here is broken wrists, ankles, legs and arms. Though knowing the first years, they are an accident-prone bunch.” She rolled her eyes. 

“I agree.” I nodded my head. 

“The wand movement for Episkey is a diagonal line from top to bottom.” She stated.

I practiced a couple of times before rounding on the doll. “Episkey.” I said with confidence.

The bones cracked up and down the doll, straightening out the legs and arms. The doll looked more human than it did thirty minutes before.

“Very good.” She smiled and relaxed her shoulders. “Come over here. This potion will be helpful in several ways. It quickly heals burns and cuts, but it also will stave off the patient bleeding to death if you have nothing else with you. This potion has saved countless lives because a passerby had this on them.”

“Alright, teach me.” I said, stepping up to the cauldron that was already set up for the task. 

The fire flickered an outward expression of the heart that was in my throat.

“This is an easy potion to make as you pour it is a three, two, one ratio. Three branches of wormwood, two drops of Dittany, two drops of Bubotuber pus and one Dragon liver.”

I nodded my head and did what she told me. 

“You are going to leave the potion brewing until the wormwood branches are brittle enough to break with a spoon and dissolve into the rest of the potion. It should be a dark red by the time it is ready. This should take about an hour. You never want to leave a cauldron with lifesaving medicine in it. You will watch for that hour.”

“Yes, of course.” I was used to standing on my feet.

_ A servant should not be seen or heard. _

The quietness enveloped me and I let out a deep breath.  _ I could do this. _

“Stir every so often.” She said from across the room. “I’ll show you in the upcoming weeks how to fill out charts efficiently and effectively.” She said as she made a note on a clipboard.

I nodded my head. 

After I finished the potion and laddled into a decanter, Madam Pomfrey stated, “If you are going to train to be a nurse, you should always have this on you, along with your wand. Before we meet next, I want you to make something that will complete this task.”

“I understand, thank you, Madam Pomfrey.” I bowed out of habit. 

_ Great, she was giving me homework to do as well! _

By the time my shift was over, she was more than impressed.

"Thank you for working so hard tonight."

"I have to work hard. No problem."

I stepped into the common room and ran straight up to bed. No one was awake, this was perfect. Hopefully, I would get more late-night shifts so then I would not have to deal with all the bullying.

I opened my eyes to sunlight, I rose carefully to not wake anyone in my dorm and got ready for the day.

Last night went well, I think I was going to like working in the hospital wing, the knowledge that Madam Pomfrey had was insurmountable.

At breakfast, I received another letter from Master Malfoy. It read:

_ Jo, _

_ How dare you lose more points from Slytherin? I am disgusted that I kept you alive. You are a disgrace to anyone who meets you. _

_ I am coming up to the school tonight for an important meeting, we will be done at midnight. Professor Snape will escort you from your common room to meet me, there will be punishment. _

_ Master Malfoy _

Well, it was wonderful that he had not found out yet about Fred Weasley. I didn't want to get him involved in this. I was afraid that Master Malfoy would hurt him for just knowing me.

It was not so wonderful that he could come to school and punish me.

I wanted this day to go by really slowly, anything was better than getting punished by Master Malfoy.

The day sped up, before I knew it, it was dinner time and I had no appetite, so I wandered down to the library to get some of my studying done. I had been assigned three essays, two worksheets, and a take-home quiz all due by Monday or Tuesday. It was the first week, but I didn't mind. I liked learning. In a weird way, the Malfoy family reminded me that every day was a gift. I didn't take anything for granted because Master Malfoy threatened to kill me at least once a week. 

I had finished my three essays and my take-home quiz when Madam Pince came over and stated, "The library is closed, please come back tomorrow."

"I will, thank you."

I packed up quickly and headed back to the common room.

“Mixtio.” I mumbled, shrouding myself from prying eyes. The hustle of the common room was too much to bear. I glanced up once or twice, tracking the movements of Millicent, Pansy and Draco. 

“What about Granger?” Millicent asked, taking a swig of pumpkin juice.

“Can I rate her a negative number?” Draco asked, lazily throwing a ball.

Pansy smirked. “Why would that be?” She asked with mock concern.

“Mudbloods should not be allowed in.”

Millicent pulled back her stringy hair the way Granger did and pulled her teeth forward in her mouth. A Granger-lookalike. 

“Look at me, I’m so smart. I don’t let anyone else answer because I like the sound of my own voice.”

Pansy giggled and Draco’s lips pulled up.

“I better get some homework done. I don’t have a servant girl to do it for me.” Pansy pouted.

“Jo’s wrapped around my finger. When I saw jump, she jumps. She’s scared of us. If you need anything from her, just ask.”

I rolled my eyes. I should use disillusionment charms more often. 

Draco finally stood up. “I’m tired, see you tomorrow.”

“Night.” Millicent said.

“Sweet dreams.” Pansy said, a permanent smirk on her face.

Rubbing their eyes and yawning, the last of the Slytherins walked up to bed. I waited a few minutes before waving my wand. “Videre.” I let out a breath. 

I almost forgot about the homework for my job in the hospital wing. I bounded up the stairs, hoping that there were still some scraps of cloth left over from Mistress Malfoy’s dresses. I tried to hide my growth, both horizontally and vertically by tailoring my clothes to fit the best I could. I laid out the reminiscence of cloth on one of the big tables and decided to go with my house colors, even though I loathed what Slytherin stood for. I paced.  _ What was the best way to go about this?  _

Master Malfoy kept his wand in his cane. I shivered, despite the warmth coming from the green-studded hearth. Draco liked to keep his wand in his back pocket.  _ That wouldn’t work as I needed to keep potions near my wand as well.  _

I pulled back my hair. I needed to reach my wand with ease, but didn’t want a purse.  _ Millicent might take that to her advantage, I did not need to add choking to the list of bullying tactics. _

I laid a scrap of leather on my leg.  _ Yes! _

I began to sew a little bag that tied around my upper thigh. I waved my wand over the bottle of healing potion, an unbreakable spell. That would be a mess if it broke. “ Perscripta.” This way the material would be sketchy enough that I could use less. 

_ Less is more.  _ I snickered to myself as I worked. I found a strong, almost rope-like thread. I sewed the pouch in five minutes. I smiled to myself, at least I could do something right.

I twirled my wand, a simple timekeeping spell. It was 11:32. I ran upstairs to get a book that I checked out of the library. "Hogwarts: A History" kept me company for the next thirty minutes.

_ Whoosh _

The book zoomed across the room into Professor Snape's hand. "Aww, Hogwarts: A History, good read."

"Thank you, I’m sorry about class today, I will try harder." 

Professor Snape glared at me in response, motioning me to follow him.

_ He doesn’t believe me. _

“Would you like me to write everything out on the board?” He asked, without changing his tone.

_ That would be great, but Master Malfoy doesn’t want me to receive any special treatment. _

I shrugged. “Maybe, Professor.”

He nodded, curtly. 

A stone had been settling in my stomach since I had received the letter from Master Malfoy and it had finally been making me feel sick.

We traveled for about five minutes by only our wand lights. We turned into a deserted room where Master Malfoy was standing before a fire. "Leave us, thank you Severus." He nodded politely. "Close the door." He continued to me, as soon as Professor Snape left.

He sat down in a chair beside the fireplace. I did as he told me and then went to sit facing him in the other armchair.

"You do not deserve to sit there," Master Malfoy hissed, "Sit on the floor."

I did as he told me.

"I'm sorry, it is just that you put a curse on me when I was little and it makes me learn slower than the others in my class. I am trying, I really am, I am not trying to disgrace the name of Malfoy. The Malfoy's have been so good to me and I will forever serve them."

Master Malfoy processed this, but still retrieved his cane and slammed the fangs in my neck. A million knives stabbed me as I tried to remain quiet and still.

_ A servant should not be seen or heard. _

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

_ Breathe, don’t die. _

_ A servant should not be seen or heard. _

I screamed."I can't."

"You can't what?" He seethed from behind me taking in my pain like it was ecstasy.

"I can't do any better." I writhed in pain and tried to get away from the cane that had become my weakness.

"You can and you better or you will end up dead."

Master Malfoy relinquished the fangs and left chuckling without another word. The pain heightened and I blacked out.

I jerked awake from the dark oblivion. I waved my wand.

I realized that I had been curled up in the fetal position for over an hour, my blurred vision crusty with dried tears. I picked myself up like I had countless times before.

A flash of red hair greeted me.

"Fred, what are you doing here?" I whispered quickly as I covered up my shoulders. Because of the dying embers of the fire, Fred didn't seem to see my hurried repositioning.

"I like to wander the castle at night when I can't sleep."

"You could get into serious trouble for this," I responded.

"That is half the fun!" Fred winked at me, I smiled at his confidence.

"How do you know that you won't get caught?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"I have my ways, what are you doing here, this late?"

"My foster dad wanted to talk with me and this was the only time that he had. I have to get back to my common room before I get caught. My foster parents don't like me losing any points for my house."

"I heard about Snape taking away points from his own house! What did you do? Set his robes on fire!" He smiled at his own joke.

"No!" I pouted.

"Then, what did you do?"

"I refused to make a potion."

"Oh, you have a bad girl streak, I like that."

I smiled, I liked that he could make me smile with something so simple as a little joke.

"Well, my lady, can I escort you back to your common room. I promise that we won't get caught."

"Sure! Thank you very much." I didn't trust anyone, but Fred was different. He made me trust him, even though it was against my better judgment.

He tiptoed out of the room and I followed.

"So, what is a happy of your day?"

"Excuse me?"

"What made you happy today? My family plays this game at home around the dinner table, happys and crappys."

"Well, I finished all my homework for the weekend." Catching onto this game.

"Goody two-shoes!" Fred laughed at my look of bewilderment on my face.

"What was your happy of the day?" I asked, shoving him so he stumbled a bit.

"I didn't finish all my homework for the weekend." He smiled again. "What was the crappy of your day?"

I wanted and needed to be honest with him. "Seeing my foster dad. I don't like him that much. I usually try to keep my head down and not get in trouble. When he says jump, I jump, basically." 

"Well, you do not have to keep your head down around me. You can be yourself."

"Thanks, what was your crappy of the day?"

"My mom, I love her, but she wants George and me to be really smart like our siblings, but we like playing jokes better. She knows we are smart, but just wants us to channel differently and work for the Ministry."

"I know how you feel about not living up to expectations."

We were at the Slytherin common room by this point.

"See, told you I would get you back to your common room without you getting caught."

"Thank you."

"I'll see you around," Fred said.

"Yep, see you!"

It was four am and I needed to be up and at work by 8am. It was just like I was at Malfoy Manor.

The next day, all I could think about was the conversation that I had that morning with Fred Weasley, how much my shoulders hurt, and how tired I was. I was pretty sure that my conversation with Fred was the only thing that got me out of bed and to work on time.

Madam Pince was very helpful. I observed her putting away the books. I learned the best by doing so she observed me for the next hour, correcting me nicely when I did something wrong.

"Come find me if you need any more help."

I nodded my head and started shelving. I wanted to learn as much as I could about the wizarding world, so in between when Madam Pince needed me, I read my copy of "Hogwarts: A History."

Madam Pince interrupted me. "Jo, I have some more reading suggestions if you are up for them."

"Of course, that would be wonderful."

She gave me three books. One was a rather ratty and old looking book called "What You Need to Know About The Wizarding World." The second and third were a part of a series called "Hogwarts: The Mystic, The Magic, The Illusion."

"These books are my favorite when it comes to students looking for information about the Wizarding World. This is a new world for over half our student body and they are a bit overwhelmed. Working here, I have discovered that half of my job is being a librarian and the other half is being a kind of parent, comforting students when they miss home and directing students to their home in a book."

"That was beautiful, I hope to be that in whatever I decide to do with my career."

_ If I make it that far. _

"Well, that is all I need from you today. Go outside and enjoy those books and one of the last days of warm weather."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, see you tomorrow." Madam Pince waved.

I raced outside with my huge bag. I hoped that the quidditch pitch was empty. It was and the storeroom was open as well. I was so excited. I went into the storeroom and set my bag down and looked for a CleanSweep. I liked the CleanSweeps, they were dependable.

I found one and I ran outside, mounted it, and pushed off the ground with all my might. I circled around the pitch a few times. It felt so freeing to be above the ground and leave all my problems behind. I did a few loop-de-loops and dove a couple of times.

"Hey, Astoria!"

Fred, George, and Lee were hovering about a hundred feet below. I waved and smiled.

"Want to play quidditch?" George asked.

"Sure, I am up for whooping your butt." I smiled.

"Put your talent where your mouth is," Fred called.

We used an apple as the quaffle, tennis balls as the bulgers, and a golf ball as the snitch.

We played two or three games.

"I have to go," I sheepishly stated.

"Boo," Fred, George, and Lee responded while making a thumbs down gesture.

I had to go because a lot more people had started to come out and I didn't want Master Malfoy finding out that the Weasley's were my friends. I knew that he would not approve.

I read for the rest of the day in a deserted corridor that looked onto the grounds. I fell into an easy sleep: a schedule gave me a false sense of security. 


	4. The Parties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of 12/26/20, this chapter has been edited for flow, spelling, and grammatical errors

“Very good.” Madam Pomfrey clutched the bag and closely eyed the stitching more closely.

“Thank you.” I nodded with pride. I situated the satchel on my left thigh.

The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. I was still horrible at school, but not enough to receive threatening notes from Master Malfoy. Fred and George passed in the corridor, I avoided their waving hands and smiles. I avoided my housemates incessant bullying by taking extra shifts in the hospital wing. 

“Jo, today, we are going to talk about bedside manner.”

“Okay.” I rolled up the sleeves of my uniform.

“I know that you are reading the hospital wing guide that I gave you, but this job is more than just regurgitating answers for a test. This is real life with real people.” She said this lovingly, but with an air of importance that I never heard before.

I nodded my head. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I can do to fix it.”

“We will be able to fix it, but first, stand up straight.”

I did as she told me, usually I just wanted to blend into the background.  _ A servant should not be seen or heard.  _ Master Malfoy ingrained that phrase into my mind.

She walked around me in a circle. “Do you know that you are very good at this?” She asked in a steady tone of voice.

“Thank you very much, I try. I want to make you happy and Master Malfoy, of course.” I was taken aback by the compliment, no one had complimented me on my work before. 

“I could be looking at one of the youngest nurses.” She beamed.

“I just want to represent the Malfoy family well,” I said. I memorized this phrase too.

“Stop talking like you are a servant, Jo.” She wagged her finger at me in a back and forth motion.   
  


***********************************

Master Malfoy called for tea and scones to be brought up to his study. I hurriedly prepared. I tapped my wand and warmed the water up. I took two cups from the cupboard: one black and one green. I prepared a tray with fresh sugar cookies, a variety of tea and the kettle.

I walked quickly and quietly up the stairs and set the tray down on a side table. He was entertaining a guest from the ministry.

“Ah, Jo. Come in,” Master Malfoy said. He was smiling and his eyes glinted the way they did when he had too much mead.

“Yes, Uncle Luc, Master Malfoy.” The damage had been done. 

The ministry official came over, “How dare you speak to your Master that way.”

I was silent.

“Well, servant girl.”

I knelt down by Master Malfoy’s feet. “I am so sorry, Master Malfoy.”

“I will deal with you later.” He spat at me.

“Your servant girl really needs a lesson,” the ministry official said.

“I know that, Patrick, I can deal with her.”

I gasped, willing myself not to cry.

“You better,” Patrick said, kicking me in the side and then leaving.

I clutched my side. Master Malfoy came over and picked me up by the scruff of the neck.

“What did you call me?” He asked, through gritted teeth.

“I called you Uncle Luc,” I responded, fearfully. 

“It has been a year since our visit to the Servant and Slave Administration, how long will it take to get into your tiny brain that I am not your Uncle. I never was. You are our servant.”

“I am so sorry, Master Malfoy.”

“You embarrassed me in front of my closest friends, you will be punished. Kneel,” He commanded.

I did as I was told.

He picked out a nasty, brown potion from behind his desk and stuck the snake fangs into the bottle. 

He came across the room, the fire heating the left side of my body. “No, Master Malfoy, please,” I pleaded. He inspected the fangs. 

“This is for your own good,” he said and smiled.

I screamed, I suddenly felt cold as if ice were being poured into my veins. My teeth chattered, my hands turned blue. 

“You need to know your place. You are a servant girl. You are here to serve the Malfoy family and protect the legacy until the day you die.”

“Yes, Master.” My lips were frozen and it came out quieter than I intended.

********************************

“All due respect,  I can’t, I am a servant to the Malfoy family until the day I die.” I shivered at the memory, I needed to remember my place. I wanted to keep receiving the privilege of coming to Hogwarts. I was not free to do whatever I wanted here. I belonged to the Malfoy’s, I signed a contract. 

“Right now, you are a nurse in the hospital wing and if you want to continue working here, you will listen and try your best.”

“Yes, Madam Pomfrey, of course. Are you going to write to Master Malfoy?” My heart was in my throat as she thought it over.

“No,” she said finally. “I think I can transform you into a wonderful nurse without Lucius getting involved.”

“Thank you so much!” A few tears escaped my eyes of gratitude and relief.

“Let’s get to it. You need to have confidence, you know all the spells and potions. You know how to take care of and fix a variety of different ailments, but all you need is confidence. Putting someone at ease is no easy task, it is an art form. I would like you to read this.” 

She handed me a book. I glanced at the big volume.  _ The Life and Lies of A Magical Nurse: Sixth Edition  _ by Edith Summers stared back at me. I was so overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of it. It must have been 1000 pages. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll only assign a few chapters at a time.” She saw the sheer panic on my face as I continued to stare at the book.

“Right now, I want you to observe my bedside manner, it will be busy today as it is the first quidditch match of the season, but first, I want you to get out there and watch.”

“Madam Pomfrey, I want to stay.” I argued. 

“No arguing, you need to be a regular student. Get outside!”

Relief washed over me as the wind picked up, causing me to pull my hood over my face. As I followed my housemates down to the pitch, I heard whispers.

“That Potter kid is playing today.”

“Better not fall on his face.”

“He might have wished that the Dark Lord had killed him.” Draco smirked.

Millicent laughed way too hard. She just wanted the status of being near Draco.  _ I guess riches have their price too. _

Both teams zoomed out of the locker rooms. We cheered for our house who scored the first two goals. Oliver Wood sat back on his broom, glanced at one of our Chasers and gave him the middle finger. I smirked, maybe this wasn’t a complete waste of time. 

No one seemed to notice this exchange, so I kept watching the game. One of our beaters sent a bludger toward one of the Weasley twins and then they played a game of keep away. This game ended when the bludger shot into the sky, one of the Weasley twins followed it and used all of his force behind the bat to slam it into one of the Slytherin Chasers.

“Boo,” shouted Crabbe. 

“Penalty,” cried Goyle.

I snickered, this was going to be fun.

I left the quidditch match early so I could help Madam Pomfrey with the injuries that came in from the match. 

Madam Pomfrey tutted disapprovingly when she saw me, "You need to be a student!" She exclaimed when I told her that I needed to be here.

"I saw nearly the whole match!" I defended, "I wanted to help you with the injuries coming in here. I know you don't like quidditch that much."

"I handled it before you came and I will handle it when you leave, but I am happy for such competent help." 

I smiled.

There were several bloody noses because Gryffindor and Slytherin students were too heated so that was amusing. I was still there until after 10 pm and I arrived there to help at 3 pm. The Potter kid took up most of our time. He was a magnet for trouble. He had three broken ribs and a face full of scratches. I heard from a Gryffindor chaser that he was trying to avoid falling off his broom and caught the snitch in his mouth.

I had to take this with a straight face, but inside I was pumping my arms up and down,  _ that must have been awesome to see.  _

"Thank you for your help today." Madam Pomfrey stated as she walked me back to my common room.

"Of course, any time. See you soon." I waved as I sidestepped into my common room.

“Potter was so lucky.” Draco was splayed out on the couch looking as lazy as the squid.

Crabbe and Goyle nodded like little puppies that were trying to make up for peeing on the furniture. 

“Did you fix him up, Jo?” Draco barked. I thought I could get away sneaking up the stairs. I was beat.

“Yes, Master Malfoy. I try to fix up everyone who comes through the hospital wing.” I bowed. “Do you need anything?”

“No, get out of my sight.” He laughed and his goons followed suit. 

I went straight up to my dormitory and changed into my pj's. When I came out of the bathroom, Millicent was waiting for me with three of her cronies. I believe their names were Bre, Stephanie, and Jac.

"Where were you at the match today?" Millicent asked, her cronies giggled.

"I was there, but then I left early to help Madam Pomfrey."

"You are so weird, you aren't representing the Malfoy family very well. Bre, Stephanie grab her arms."

"What are you going to do to me?" I asked, backing up into my four-poster bed and slipping so I was lying on top of it.

"Jac here is going to punch the weirdness out of you," Millicent stated. Jac cracked her knuckles.

Bre and Stephanie came around to each side of the bed and held down my arms. Jac stepped up on the bed and straddled my small form so she was looking at me in the eyes.

"Please, don't do this," I pleaded, defenseless.

They all cackled. Jac punched my nose first, then both my cheeks. Again and again, until I was knocked out.

The last thing I remember is all of them cackling again and high-fiving.

I cracked my eyes to sunlight streaming through the windows. I sat up and bit my lip from screaming. I was a rainbow of blacks, blues, and greens. I washed my face very carefully and changed quickly. I crept out of the dormitory and down to the hospital wing.

I needed to approach this with caution. "Madam Pomfrey?" I called. I checked my watch, which was now cracked.

"I thought I recognized your voice, let's fix you up right away." She bustled up concernedly. 

This was one thing that I loved about Madam Pomfrey, she did not ask a lot of questions.

"I'm fine!" I reassured her.

"You will be spending the night, you will not be going to classes today. Whatever happened, injured you very well. I'll send a note to your teachers and someone can get your school bag for you so you do not fall behind."

"Thank you." Madam Pomfrey knew the importance of school, not only to me, but the Malfoy family.

"Madam Pomfrey, I need to ask you something and you can't ask me any questions. I will get into even more trouble."

Madam Pomfrey nodded.

"Tomorrow, I can't go back to classes with a repaired face. I need it to be a slow healing process."

There was curiosity in Madam Pomfrey's eyes. "How long do you want this healing process to take?"

"A week or two." I shrugged. 

"For you, that has helped me remain sane, I will do anything. I'll still keep you here overnight and take the swelling and pain down." She nodded once.

"Thank you." I dressed in the hospital wing pajamas and crawled into bed.

"Alright, take this and then take this." Madam Pomfrey said and handed me two blue paper cups. "Now, you get some sleep."

I nodded my head and held my nose and gulped down the mysterious liquids.

"You should be feeling sleepy in about 20 minutes. I gave you a sleeping potion."

I closed my eyes.

I woke up suddenly and Madam Pomfrey slid back the curtains that she put around my bed. "A friend is here with your bag."

Millicent Bulstrode sauntered across the hospital wing with my bag in her arms. "Oh, I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are incredibly clumsy sometimes though." 

Madam Pomfrey left to attend to another student.

"I hoped you learned your lesson." Millicent gave me my bag and skipped out of the wing.

I was so scared of her. I needed to push those thoughts out of my head though and finish the worksheets for Herbology, an essay for Transfiguration and a potion write up from Professor Snape.

I finished all of this in about five hours. I should come to the hospital wing more often to do homework. A tapping somewhere in the hospital wing broke my concentration. 

“Can whoever is doing that stop, please?” I murmured under my breath.

Comfort tapped on the window of the hospital wing with her beak. I ambled out of bed and opened the window. Comfort flew in and settled on the head of my bed and held up her leg.

"Sorry Comfort." I took the letter off of her leg. I ripped it open, it must be important.

_ Dear Jo, _

_ I heard you were in the hospital wing because I told Mr. Bulstrode to tell his daughter to show you who was boss. It is very good that she did her father's bidding. You need to participate in student activities so you are not an outsider. Hopefully, this helps push you in the way of participating more and making more friends. _

_ You will be coming home next weekend for our Halloween feast. Draco will be staying at school with his friends.  _

_ I will be at the castle on Thursday for a meeting and we will apparate home on Thursday night. You have been excused from all classes on Friday to help with the feast that will be on Saturday. _

_ Keep in line and try to make some correct friends. _

_ Master Malfoy _

I groaned.  _ How could I forget the big Halloween feast? Why did I need to be there? _

I answered my own wandering questions: I was the Malfoy's servant, they owned me and I needed to stay alive.

The next day, I packed up my things and went to my first class. The black and blues of my face branded me as I tried to make myself invisible. Fred motioned at me and waved, his face twisted in confusion.

I was satisfied that people were whispering in the hallways about me. If the word got back to Master Malfoy that even Madam Pomfrey couldn't heal the bruises overnight, that meant that the beating was good enough for him. The message must have sunk in.

The next week passed quickly enough. Professor Snape escorted me down to the same empty classroom that I got punished for losing points for Slytherin. I curtsied to Master Malfoy when I saw him.

"Thank you, Severus,” Master Malfoy said.

I put an arm on Master Malfoy and we apparated. It always made me feel sick, but I knew that there was work to be done.

Master Malfoy stated, "We have a house-elf now to help with the housework. When you left, we needed someone to pick up the slack. It will be helping you with the feast. It's name is Dobby."

"Okay," I said. I shakily stood up from the ground where I had fallen.

"The dishes still need to be done and the turkey needs to be put in the oven and cook for at least 24 hours. You can also do some shopping down the road. I am going to bed. I expect that you will be just as hardworking as you were before you went to Hogwarts. I can pull you out of the school and have a tutor come here or I can just kill you."

_ There the death threat was, and oh, how I did not miss them. _ I wanted to roll my eyes, but I practiced self-control.

"Thank you for the reminder, Master. Goodnight." 

He glared at me in return and I went upstairs quickly to change into my servant girl uniform and ran quickly back downstairs.

I pulled my hair up and put the turkey in the oven. I then went down the road to get the 24-hour mini-mart and stocked up on everything. Halloween was big in the Malfoy family. All the wizards and witches can come out into the open and perform magic in front of muggles because muggles think it is just a grand illusion.

The Malfoy family had a huge feast for the most important people to celebrate. This feast was even bigger than the Thanksgiving feast. I cooked for about 240 people. The grand dining room sat all of them. I had to serve, take away, and wash the dishes, plus I had to get Mistress and Master Malfoy ready. In other words, I would not be getting a lot of sleep this weekend.

I cooked and baked and put in dishes that I could and got everything into the refrigerator. I needed to get some sleep. I could get about two hours of sleep.  _ Yipee, sarcasm, at its maximum height. _

I woke up the next morning to the smells of everything baking downstairs. I washed quickly then prepared the rest of the dinner all while making breakfast for Master Malfoy.

A clattering came from the other room and a loud, "Jo, get in here."

_ Uh-oh. _

I went into the main dining room to see Master Malfoy bleeding from the hand.

"I can fix that," with a tap of my wand. The blood had ceased and I applied the healing potion that helped with the scarring. I curtsied and went back into the kitchen.

Dobby made an appearance that morning and tried to help as much as he could. He was so scared of Master Malfoy.

"Dobby."

"Yes, miss." He stuttered out.

"I want to make one thing clear, I will treat you with respect when you are working with me."

"Thank you, miss."

"Of course. I have to go get Mistress Malfoy ready, just watch the dinner in the oven."

Dobby nodded his head so his long ears flapped.

Getting Mistress Malfoy ready took time, but was very relaxing. I washed her hair, blew it dry, and gave advice on what she should wear. She would be wearing emerald green robes with a red mask for tonight's feast.

After that was done, I went down to find Dobby trying to take out the turkey and helped him with my wand.

I had to be by the door to welcome everyone in 30 minutes. I quickly went upstairs to change into black robes and a green headband. I skidded down the stairs and welcomed everyone.

When people started talking about me in a demeaning way, mixed with the fact that Master Malfoy had too much mead, it was a deadly combination.

"Jo, come in here." Master Malfoy slurred.

I opened the door separating the kitchen from the dining room and curtsied.

"Come here and kneel."

He grabbed his walking stick and stuck it in me. It hurt as usual and I screamed. Master Malfoy loved an audience when he showed his power and then he shouted " _ Imperio _ ."

I wasn't inexperienced with the imperius curse. My mind receded into itself and the only thing that was in my mind was what Lucius fed me to do. I remembered everything which added to the embarrassment. Master Malfoy made me do a couple of embarrassing things and then let me go. I curtsied again and went back into the kitchen to get more dishes done. I would never be able to shake the tired feeling after being under the influence of that curse. I hated it, but I had to deal with it, or else I could be killed.

I then showed all our guests into the living room for coffee. At around 11 pm, I heard a tap on the kitchen window, another owl. The owl was Loyalty, one of the Malfoy's owls. I quickly took the letter to Master Malfoy and curtsied again.

Dobby came in. "Miss, you are going back to Hogwarts."

I thought it would be better not to argue. I finished the dishes quickly and went upstairs quickly to get my things that I brought home for the weekend.

I then came back downstairs and apparated with Master Malfoy to the school.

Master Malfoy commanded, "There was a troll in the school and three first-years handled the beast, I am going to get to the bottom of this. Go straight to your dormitory. If I hear you are out of your dorm, I will personally kill you."

I nodded my head and ran away to my dorm. I muttered, "How nice that he personally wants to murder me."

Well, the weekend went off without a hitch and I was tired so hopefully, no one would bother me tonight. I unpacked.

"Where were you this weekend?" Millicent said.

"The Malfoy's host a dinner every year for Halloween and I needed to go home and help with that."

"Oh, so you were being a servant girl?"

"I am going to die a servant girl, so yes, I was."

"Did I sense sarcasm? Jac, slap her."

Jac slapped me and then they calmed down. _ Abuse at the manor and bullying at school, gee, this was great. _

I wondered what three first years could take on a troll and survive to tell the tale. Wouldn't it be funny if that Potter kid did it? I smiled at that and fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning, I rose at ten. A big deal since I was on a strict schedule at the manor and at school. The emotional rollercoaster that had ensued over the last couple of days really took a toll on my body. The physical and emotional demands of being a servant for the Malfoy family would surely kill me at a young age if Master Malfoy didn't do it first.

I showered and put on jeans and a comfortable sweater and went down to the common room. I had never seen so many people in the common room before.

A post had been put up overnight that read:

_ Please stay in your common rooms today. _

_ Classes will resume tomorrow. _

_ Food will be sent up at 8 am, 12 pm, and 6 pm. _

This was weird, I had never heard of students being on lockdown before.

I had nothing to do, except homework, so I slinked back to my room and did that for the rest of the day with breaks for meals. The house elves sent up boxed lunches with a sandwich, chips, and a cookie. If I made a note of what I wanted on the sandwich, what chips I wanted, and what cookie I wanted before opening the box, it would appear. I loved magic and all the fantastical things that you could do with it.

I also saw on a daily basis, all the harm that magic could do.

I went to bed early that night, right after dinner, which was pasta in a bowl. It worked the same as lunch, it was so cool.

The next morning everyone was talking in hushed whispers and walking together in groups of friends.

I felt more alone than ever.

I heard rumors all day.

One I heard from a group of Gryiffidor's, that included Fred Weasley, said that the troll was Peeves's way of Halloween fun.

Another I heard from a group of Hufflepuffs that passed by me in the hospital wing while I was working, whispered that a troll was good luck on Halloween and trolls liked feasts and wanted a bit of food and then got confused.

Draco whispered to Crabbe and Goyle so that I could hear while I was doing my homework in the common room. "Potter, Weasley and that Granger girl defeated the troll, knocked him right out. I believe that I could kill it. I heard that from my father. I think Granger should be expelled for letting the troll in."

He drawled on and on, though I saw why he did, his father never gave him the attention that he needed so he made up for it at school. This was a reason, but not an excuse for acting as the most important person in the world.

He whined, "I wanted to play quidditch yesterday."

I rolled my eyes as I was finishing up my essay for potions on the three uses for cinnamon.

Which reminded me that Professor Snape was limping today in potions class. He didn't say anything about it, but I wondered if he helped take down the troll.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"No Master Malfoy, I did roll my eyes, but not at you. I was rolling my eyes for writing down your words since I was listening so carefully to you."

"That better be true."

I nodded and Crabbe hit me upside the head and they continued talking and I finished my homework.

Everything went back to normal a week after the troll scare. Everyone seemed to have moved on.

That is, except Draco.

Draco was bullying Hermione non stop because he was convinced that she let in the troll. Draco would chant "expel her, expel her," while she walked down the corridor and all the Slytherins would join in.

I was washing my hands in the bathroom when Hermione came in. She had her head down and looked like she was holding back tears. I checked to make sure that no one was in the bathroom except for us. I knocked on the stall door.

"Yes." She squeaked and opened up the door a crack.

She saw that I was decked out in my house colors and narrowed her eyes.

"I just wanted to say that Draco is being mean. There is no shame in being smart. Keep your head up. I know it hurts, but you will get through it."

Taken aback, she squeaked. "Thank you."

"No problem." I walked out of the washroom, almost into Millicent Bulstrode.

"Sorry, hope you are having a good day." I smiled and quickly walked down to the dungeons for potions. Hopefully, Millicent didn't hear me.

That night, I was doing my homework on my bed as I didn't want to hear any more of Draco's whining. Millicent came in and knocked all my books off my bed.

"Oops, I heard you today. If you do not want me to tell Mr. Malfoy, you will do my homework for two weeks and we better not get caught." She gave me her bag.

There was no use arguing, so I nodded and got started.

The next morning, Comfort came soaring through the open windows of the Great Hall. A sinking feeling in my stomach.

As Comfort dug into my toast, I opened the letter from Master Malfoy.

_ Jo, _

_ Draco and yourself will be coming home for Thanksgiving. I will pick you both up in the carriage next Wednesday at 6 pm. _

_ Millicent sent an owl late last night telling me that you called Draco mean to that Gryffindor girl. _

_ That is unacceptable, but your punishment can wait until you get home. _

_ Master Malfoy _

Millicent gave me a cheery wave. I put my head in my hands.

I hated Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was an American holiday, but the Malfoys took any excuse to hold a feast and show off their wealth.

Thanksgiving was also a time where the Malfoys thought that I had to be really thankful to them for taking me in. They tortured me in front of their guests and everyone had a good laugh. All I had to do was say, "Thank you so much!" I would repeat it and repeat it.

I had to pull two all-nighters in the next week to get all my homework and Millicent's done. I couldn't copy one essay and turn them in because Master Malfoy and Millicent would get in trouble. I would then get in trouble.

I could not win.

At six on Wednesday evening, I carried Draco and my materials for the weekend down to the Great Hall and out the main entrance. Draco and I stood in silence until his father pulled up, I put all the bags in the back and ambled up onto the post. Master Malfoy handed me the reins and got into the back with his son.

We traveled in silence for the two hour trip to the Malfoy Manor. I dropped off Master Malfoy and his son and then went around to the paddock to relieve the horses. I brushed the horses and got them bundled up in their sweaters.

First, I knocked on Draco's door to give him his stuff before heading to my room. "Put it there," he drawled. I did as he asked and closed the door behind me to go change.

I put on my green dress with black high heels and pulled my hair up into a ponytail.

"Dobby," I called when I reached the kitchen. It smelled amazing in here so Dobby had already started the turkey.

I heard a crash of dishes from behind the counter.

"A little jumpy, aren't we?" I laughed and with a tap of my wand resembled the dishes.

He smiled. "Dobby, would you be able to get the nice china and set the table?"

"Of course, Miss!" He tiptoed out of the kitchen.

I made cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes when Master Malfoy called, "Jo, get up here."

I made sure everything was off and hurried upstairs and bowed when I entered. I kneeled down by Master Malfoy, who sat beside his desk reading the Daily Prophet.

Master Malfoy pulled his snake out and pulled me by the shoulder nearer to him. I gritted my teeth. "You need to take Draco's side in everything that he does at school. We can't have a disrespectful servant girl."

He dug the snake into my shoulder.

"Now, go! Get out of here, you stupid servant girl. Finish preparing for tomorrow."

Dobby gave me a knowing look when I came downstairs and I went back to the kitchen.

I finished cooking and before I went to bed, I turned around and stated, "Thank you, Dobby! You should get some sleep as well."

Before Thanksgiving dinner, the Malfoy family went to Saint. Mungo's for Magical Maladies and Injuries to serve Thanksgiving dinner to the patients there. We had been doing this for as long as I could remember.

Master Malfoy did not have a nice bone in his body, but there was always a Daily Prophet reporter there. It was for the show of being charitable. All the magical community believed that they were charitable with their one day a year giving their time to do something good. 

I loved when they did it because they left me behind to prepare. They also did not want their servant to show them up.

After they returned home, I knew I had about an hour left to prepare. I ran to the door and took people's coats and showed them into the formal living room where the Malfoy's were sitting comfortably.

The Malfoy family had a lot of relatives in Azkaban, but there were still quite a few that got away with being a part of Voldemort's army.

They were not even halfway through the first course when one of Lucius's distant cousins got on the subject of me going to Hogwarts.

"She doesn't even deserve it, that should get you a lot of press. She does not even understand that you saved her, she is so disrespectful. Let me punish her."

_ What did that mean? _

"Jo, get in here," Lucius commanded, authoritatively.

I came in and bowed. "Go to Patrick."

The look in my eyes must have given me away because Master Malfoy devilishly grinned.

I went about three-fourths down the table where Patrick was standing. He had his wand out.

"Kneel," he commanded.

I did as he said. 

" _ Imperio _ , dance for us." 

I danced.

"Smile." 

I smiled.

"Go to the top of the second floor and jump off of it, singing the greatest hit from the Weird Sisters."

"Yes, sir."

All of the dinner guests followed me and I jumped.

"Come up here."

I must have broken my leg, but I had to. I thought he was done, so I took out my wand and repaired my broken leg and started to descend the steps into the first-floor dining room to clear the dishes.

"I am not done with you,” Master Malfoy called. I turned and bowed. A bolt of red light hit me in the chest.  _ “Crucio! _ "

My body writhed in pain as I was launched backward down the stairs. I inched away and Master Malfoy chuckled and spoke the spell again.

My whole body moved through a wall of fire as I gasped for breath. I rolled away, but Master Malfoy walked forward. 

“Do you mean like this, Patrick?” He smiled at him. 

“Exactly, she needs to know that you are the boss, and this way, without a doubt, she will know.” Patrick clapped Lucius on the back as though he had won something.

I started to spasm uncontrollably and tasted blood in my mouth from biting my tongue so hard.

********

Master Malfoy called from his study for tea and biscuits to be brought up.

I hurriedly ran down from my room and started to make tea, the muggle way, as I did not know a lot of spells yet.

As I scurried upstairs, I leaned against the door to open it and set the tray down on a side table, I bowed and knelt by the door. 

“Your servant girl is slow.” A tall man, with an earring and thin gray hair, pointed out as he poured himself a cup of tea.

“Would you like to leave as I punish her or would you like to stay, Patrick?” Master Malfoy asked, taking out his wand and leaving the snakehead on his desk.

“Go ahead, I want a servant as well and it gives me ideas on how to train them.”

_ I wasn’t a dog! _

Patrick and Master Malfoy brought out the worst in each other. They showed off whenever the other was around.

I gulped,  _ what horrific spell was he to use on me now? _

_ “Crucio!” _ A red burst of light came right at me.

I braced myself for the worst. 

I writhed on the ground.

“Bold choice, Lucius, she could go mad with just a bit of time under that curse.” He nodded his head, approvingly.

“She is strong, I have trained her to be that way.” He put his wand down on the desk.

“Thank you, Master.”

“Oh, very good, Lucius.” Patrick hopped around like a little schoolboy getting his favorite class job at school, quite ridiculous as he was just a bit older than Master Malfoy.

“What did you learn?” Master Malfoy paced back and forth in front of me.

“I learned to bring your tea more quickly, sir,” I said, my voice wavered.

The feeling of a million different spells being shot at me, all at once, was not fading.

“Get out of my sight, stupid servant girl,” Master Malfoy spat at me.

I bowed and retreated into my room where I cried until it was time to make dinner.

*********************************

We were at about five minutes under the curse when Patrick thought I had had enough. He was laughing so hard that he was starting to tear up. Five minutes of absolute hell, of everyone watching and laughing.

I heard someone screaming.

I smelled the aftershave that Master Malfoy used when I was a kid and wood polish.

Those smells made me want to vomit.

"Just kill me."

"Remember that servant girl," Master Malfoy said as he took his wand off me.

"Thank you very much." I bowed. I sat up slowly, shook my head to clear the fuzziness that appeared and staggered out of the room.

It took all my self-control not to vomit in front of everyone. I heaved and began to puke green bile in the tiny bathroom off the kitchen. 

I cleaned up, but I felt so weak. 

“Are you okay, miss?” Dobby asked in his squeaky voice, making me jump as I was so tired.

“Yes, I’m okay Dobby, will you help me with the dishes?”

“Of course, miss!” Dobby hopped up and grabbed a dish towel.

I fell down about three times and had to repair plates. My legs were still shaking as I climbed the stairs to bed with Dobby’s help.

Draco and I returned to the castle the day after with Lucius. I made sure that I was not going to get that curse put on me ever again. 

"Jo, remember that I could have killed you, keep in line and you will not get tortured." Master Malfoy said as a form of goodbye.

I bowed and weakly walked back into the castle carrying the luggage.

I felt drained, but I had a shift in the Hospital Wing tonight.

No rest for the weary.


	5. Midterms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of 12/26/20, this chapter has been edited for flow, grammatical, and spelling errors.

My body ached all over and my vision blurred so I needed to blink more often.

"Where are you right now? You are not here." Madam Pomfrey stated.

"Sorry." I snapped out of my daze since I had been cleaning the same table for about two minutes. "I am just tired from the weekend, that's all. What do you need me to do?"

"Fold these clean linens and then get some sleep." She glanced at me with concern in her eyes. 

I nodded my head. I quickly did what she asked and went to my dorm to unpack.

No one was up there, which I was grateful for and then I got ready for bed. I instantly fell asleep.

I woke up to my wand going off. The one thing that I liked about growing up at Malfoy Manor was that I was exposed to magic so early. Though Ollivander would disagree with that statement. He was a bit cooky, but he loved wands so much that it was hard not listening to his nagging, every time I was in for a new wand. The time-keeping spell would not be something that my fellow first years learned until their third year, at least.

It was about 5 am. I quickly changed clothes and went downstairs to get some work done. Everyone was still asleep, even the squid slept in a corner of the window. I set my bag down beside one of the tables, yawned and stretched. The weekend had quickly slipped through my grasp and I couldn’t face my teachers without having all my work done. Master Malfoy would find out and he would bring me back to the Manor and I wouldn't be able to learn about magic anymore.

I knew midterms were coming up and I needed to pass all of them or pay the price with the Malfoys. I could hear Mater Malfoy in the back of my mind. _ You have a legacy to protect, you stupid servant girl. _

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, unsuccessfully, and focus on the task at hand.

I studied with every free minute that I received over the next few weeks. Between work, classes, and all the stress with Master Malfoy and Millicent, I made time. 

The day before midterms, I studied while eating my breakfast. Millicent came up with an innocent smile.

_ Oh no, this can’t be good! _

“Can you help me?”

“Yes, of course Millicent,” I replied, regretfully putting down my Transfiguration book.

“I’m looking for a stupid, servant girl to take her book away from.” She mockingly glanced around the Great Hall around and then grabbed my book.

“Hey, give that back,” I half demanded and half cried. I couldn’t afford a new one if Millicent destroyed that one.

“Miss Bulstrode, what are you doing with Miss Jo’s Transfiguration book? Shouldn’t you be studying as well?”

Millicent whipped around, recovered and smiled her sweetest, most innocent smile. “Yes, Professor McGonagall, she has been studying so much that I wanted her to have a break.”

“I think Miss Jo can make that assessment for herself.” Professor McGonagall eyed Millicent suspiciously while walking toward Professor Snape at the head table.

The first day of midterms we had potions. Professor Snape wanted to trip me up with all the extra words he threw into his questions. I wish that the midterm had been practical, I could have shown my real skills. 

I still thought about what I answered for the fourth question when Millicent sat down at the table. 

_ Was it frog legs that went into the boil cure or was it something else? _

I remember number four as I read it over and over until the class period was over:

As you know, the cure for boils has five ingredients including dried nettles, snake fangs and porcupine quills. What does the last two ingredients not consist of:

  1. Frog legs
  2. Stewed horn slugs
  3. Flobberworm mucus
  4. A bezor



_ Did I answer it correctly?  _

The Great Hall was a quiet place as lunch was just about done. I ate my last few dregs of soup and drank some pumpkin juice.

“Looks like you were struggling with that potions exam. Hope your Master isn’t too hard on you.” Millicent nodded.

“Me too,” I answered honestly. 

The second day, the Slytherins had Transfiguration and Astronomy at midnight. Transfiguration was the worst.

“Miss Jo, please turn this needle into a match.” The Slytherins had lined up at the start of the class period and one by one Professor McGonagall called us up to do a Transfiguration that they had worked on all term long.

I breathed and reached down for my wand which was in the bag around my thigh. I flicked and did the necessary wand movement, but the needle just turned over. I tried again and again until Professor McGonagall put a hand on my wand arm. She shook her head.

I embarrassed myself in front of the entire class and Professor McGonagall’s face shriveled up so that I thought that she would disappear.

I concentrated on my breathing as I did not want to make a bigger fool out of myself.

Draco and his friends laughed as they left the classroom.

“You are going to fail.” Draco called in the corridor.

I hugged myself and wanted to blend into the uneven, stone walls around me.

I was so tired by the end of the day since I had a shift in the Hospital Wing before my Astronomy midterm that I fell asleep halfway through. Professor Sinistra had to wake me up at the end of it. 

“Sorry.” I mumbled as I hurriedly finished my star chart and turned it in. I tried to charm the star chart so that the paper would dry from my drool. I made it worse and the star chart burst into flames.

The only midterm that I aced was Herbology on the third day. I was in and out in five minutes. I repotted Devil Snare. I focused on the task at hand and I was relieved that I finally got to work with my hands. Draco glared at me like I had a second head growing out of my neck. 

We had lunch and then History of Magic. I think I did well on that, but didn’t finish in the time allotted there were 100 multiple choice questions and two essay questions. 

Professor Binns came gliding toward me as I tried to finish the last two pages. 

“It is time for you to turn in your test, Miss Jo.” Professor Binns tutted as he held out his hand. 

“Can I just have a few more minutes?” I pleaded trying to keep my test away from him while still being as respectful as possible.

“I’m afraid not, the rule was one hour.”

“I’m sorry,” I said as I handed him the bundle of papers.

I left completely defeated.

The last day, we had Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. We were going over the simple spells, but my charms were a bit too powerful and I knocked out my poor Hufflepuff partner when I performed the knockback jinx. 

“I’m so sorry, I will help get him to the Hospital Wing.” Millicent mimicked me behind Professor Flitwick’s back.

My Defense Against the Dark Arts exam was surprisingly easy, but I might have thought too hard about the questions. I couldn’t get over the anxiety that it might have been too easy.

I was so tired.

Midterms were over.

Midterms.

Were.

Final.

Over.

I walked to the library and breathed a sigh of relief. I was reading through the library A to Z by author and I was up to the middle of the A's. Reading was an escape and I liked challenging myself.

Madam Pince came over to where I was putting away books.

"Congrats on finishing your midterms."

I smiled. "Thanks."

I finished shelving books and then went up to the desk to read.

Suddenly, Professor Snape was standing before me. "Here you are." He whispered and stalked off, exiting the library in haste.

I opened the letter.

Neatly on Hogwarts letterhead:

_ Dear Ms. Astoria Jo, _

_ You have failed two or more of your midterms. _

_ Your academic disciplinary committee hearing is scheduled for 12/5 at 6 pm. _

_ Your parents or legal guardian has been notified and will be there as well. _

_ We wish to help you improve your academic roll. _

_ Professor McGonagall _

_ Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts _

I leaned back in my chair.  _ What would Master Malfoy do to me? _

I had to toughen up, this abuse was not ending anytime soon.

I finished my shift at the library and shuffled down to the common room.

I studied so hard for those midterms and I could not believe that I failed two or more of them. 

I didn't want to deal with anyone or talk or defend myself so I went upstairs and locked myself in a bathroom stall.

I retrieved my pajamas and changed and got into bed. I covered my face with my comforter when all of a sudden I heard the window bang open and Comfort came swooping in with a letter tied to her leg.

_ Oh, no. _

"Hi there, Comfort." I sat up in bed, as she ruffled her wings and held out her leg. I scratched the top of her head and took the note from her.

I sighed.

_ Dear Jo, _

_ How dare you? How dare you insult the name of the Malfoy family. _

_ The Malfoy family is smart and you are so stupid. _

_ You can't do anything right. _

_ I should have killed you when I had the chance, you are much more trouble than you are worth. _

_ There will be punishment on Wednesday. _

_ Master Malfoy _

I rubbed Comfort's head. I was staring into the distance for what seemed like forever. I wondered where I could run, where I could hide, and if it would be easier to be killed and be done with it.

I couldn't decide, so I just decided to suck it up.

Tuesday went by in a blur and before I knew it, I was walking down to Professor McGonagall's office.

I was ten minutes early. I had huge butterflies in my stomach. I hated this feeling.

I walked in with my head down and sat down beside Master Malfoy, who was already there. He nodded at me and I nodded back and sat down quickly. Professor McGonagall and Snape were there. They were sitting across from us. The room held a fireplace at the end and a long oak table where we sat, the floor was going to hurt my knees as I knelt in front of Master Malfoy later.

Professor Snape began, "Astoria Jo, you have failed all your midterms."

I snapped my attention back to the present.

Professor Snape smiled a bit, "You look a bit bewildered. Would you like to explain?"

I looked at Master Malfoy, who nodded his head in approval for me to continue.

"I studied really hard. I studied with every spare minute that I was not in work, or in class or asleep. I thought I knew all the answers."

"You work, right?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"I do, Master Malfoy has graciously gotten me two jobs. One working in the hospital wing and another working in the library. I am learning so much."

"What hours do you work?" Professor McGonagall continued.

"It all depends on the week, but usually I work from about 6 pm to midnight in the hospital wing and 5 pm to closing in the library on the weekends between the two it is about 7 days a week."

"How do you get all the quality work that you have been doing?" Professor McGonagall asked again.

"I take advantage of all the free time I have and I only need about four hours of sleep at night."

Professor McGonagall cut me off. "You need more sleep than that."

I shook my head and smiled. "Master Malfoy runs a tight ship, which is wonderful so I only get four hours of sleep at home and now if I sleep any longer than that, I feel really groggy. No offense."

Professor McGonagall's lips almost disappeared.

The silence that fell stifled the room.

Professor Snape cleared his throat. "You need to get A's or B's on all your remaining assignments to pass your first year here."

"I can do that."

Professor McGonagall asked, "Would you like any help to get some study skills?"

I was about to say something when Master Malfoy spoke for the first time, "She doesn't need any special treatment or attention. She is just adjusting to living away from the schedule of the Malfoy Manor. She has been used to that schedule since she has been very small."

"With all due respect, Mister Malfoy, but she has been adjusting well. She turns in quality work to all her professors. She needs a potion to help her with testing and more preparation from her teachers." Professor McGonagall interrupted.

"Absolutely not." Master Malfoy insisted.

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips but nodded.

Professor Snape added, "You will also need to get C's on all your finals. You were very close with your midterms."

"Thank you for helping me with my academic success. It means a lot."

"I think we are finished here." Professor Snape eyed me suspiciously, like he expected me to call them back and tell them the truth.

The truth. The truth terrified me more than lying.

The truth was, I knew why I was failing and it wasn't because I wasn't trying or my sleep schedule. It was because of the curse.

All the teachers left.

"Good luck," Professor McGonagall stated without a lot of conviction. She expected me to fail.

As soon as they were out the door and it was just Master Malfoy and I, I crumpled to the floor so I was on my knees, facing him.

"Please, I don't think I can do any better! I don't know what else to do."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Reverse the curse that you put on me." I pleaded with him.

"Or I could just kill you," He said flatly. "You are much more trouble than you are worth."

"Kill me then."

"Death is the easy way out, you are suffering more being alive."

Master Malfoy had been threatening me with death since I could remember.

"Now, you are going to get everything done this year that you are supposed to without help. You will pass this year or I will make your life more of a living hell than it already is."

"Yes, Master." I submitted, I didn't want to make him angrier than he already was.

He took his cane off the arm of the chair and stuck the fangs of the golden snake into a vomit green potion that he pulled from inside his cloak.

I moved my hair out of the way. The vomit green potion made me really tired and gave me hallucinations. It was also extremely painful. I hated this potion. Master Malfoy was trying to get me to fail as much as he could so his son could shine. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to kill me.

"I can't kill you now, but when you graduate from this school, I will make your death as painful as possible."

He stuck the snakehead inside my shoulder which was already so scarred and bruised. I screamed.

"Maybe Patrick was right, maybe I should be using the Crucitious and Imperius curse on you so I can get through to you that I am someone to be feared."

Through gritted teeth, I spoke very softly. "You are getting it through to me. I just keep messing up, I don't want to be punished."

"Then why do you keep messing up?"

"I don't want to, I just do."

"You can't just mess up like that. You have a legacy to protect."

"What legacy?" I asked.

"You need a history lesson. The Malfoys are going down in history as one of the most powerful families in the Dark Arts."

"Please stop! I will try my very best to be the person you want me to be."

"You better try more than your best, you better be perfect." He stated, as he twisted the snake's head to get a better grip on my shoulder."

"I will, I promise!"

He took the fangs out of my shoulder and laughed. "Good," he dried off the potion that wasn't used and kicked me over. "Stay down there until you can be perfect."

Tears were streaming from my eyes and I nodded slightly to acknowledge that I heard him. He smiled and left.

I looked at my watch and it was 9 pm. I stayed on the floor for a little while longer and got up slowly. I walked down the corridor. The effects of the potions already started. The walls warped and twisted, sickness washed over me and stumbled down to where I hoped was my common room. I literally bumped into Fred Weasley.

"I'm sorry, are you real?" I asked, bewildered.

Fred laughed and helped me up off the floor. "Yeah. Haven't seen you around. You good?" As Fred looked at me up and down and saw that I was swaying on the spot. I probably looked like Master Malfoy did when Mistress Malfoy and I needed to help him into bed after drinking with his buddies.

"Yeah, just tired. It's been a long few days."

"It looks like it has been longer than that, you look awful, Astoria."

"Thanks." I said, sarcastically.

Fred's ears turned pink. "I didn't mean it that way."

"Sorry."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really, I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Okay, well I'll tell you about my life then." For the next hour I heard all about the Weasley's. I heard about his brothers and sister.

"My dream is to open a joke shop one day, but my mom wants George and I to follow in our dad's footsteps and become Ministry workers. My fear is that my mom will never be proud of me. She works so hard to provide for us."

"It must be really nice to have a family like that." I murmured, enviously. I put my head down in between my legs to stop the world from spinning.

"Sorry, I know you don't have a proper family."

_ Great _ , I thought.  _ I just made the only friend that I have feel bad _ .

“Do you need something, water, a cookie maybe.”

“You know what, that sounds great,” I whispered thinking that if I spoke any louder that I would throw up.  _ When did I last eat? _

“I’ll be right back, I know where the kitchen are! Here.” He handed me a sweater with the letter ‘F’ on it. “Put that on, your lips are turning blue.”

“Thanks.” I struggled to slip on the sweater, but finally pulled my head through the right hole. I felt instantly warmed and smelled the sweets on his clothes. 

A few minutes later, Fred came back with an armful of sweets and a bottle of water. “I grabbed what I could.” He laid out what he brought: cookies, a piece of pie and some hard candies.

“Thank you!” I ate a cookie in one bite and drank half the bottle of water in one big gulp. 

“It’s like Hogwarts isn’t feeding you or something.”

I laughed, the walls had stopped dipping where they shouldn’t, but my vision was still a bit fuzzy. I sat back in the stone alcove that we found to talk.

I wanted to point out that it was okay that he talked about his family. "It isn't that bad, living with my foster parents.” I lied. "No one is telling me to do anything and I don't have to live up to any expectations."

He nodded and smiled.

"Now, tell me why you haven't been around."

"My foster dad got me two jobs here. One in the hospital wing and another in the library. I also have to study a lot to keep up with my classmates. I need more time to absorb the information."

"I knew there was a reason why I liked you. I am close to failing out of my third year, maybe we could study together. You could tutor me and I could tutor you."

"Okay." That was a wonderful idea, now Master Malfoy would get off my back about making friends and I would study. Best of both worlds.

Relief washed over me as we planned our first study time together for Tuesday!

“Well I better get some rest, see you Tuesday.” I handed him back his sweater. “Thanks for that.”

“You are welcome.” 

That Tuesday, at 8pm, when I got off work at the library, Fred and I had plans to meet in the empty Potions classroom.

I ran there, Fred was already there with his potions book out, working on an essay. "Hey!"

"Hey!" He responded and sent a book flying so I had to duck. "That’s for being late."

I laughed and sat down beside him. I had so much homework to do before tomorrow it was ridiculous.

We worked in silence, until I asked, uneasily, "Can I explain something to you?" Fred’s eyebrows scrunched together quizzically.

"It helps me get a concept and since you're so much smarter than I am, you'll know what I am talking about." I elbowed him.

He snickered, "Give me the book." At that point in the evening, I was studying History of Magic.

"Cool!" I handed him the book and talked his ear off for the next 20 minutes about the House Elf Rebellion of 1530.

"You've got it. Wow, how do you do that?" Fred asked, incredulously.

"I just read it over until I memorized the main concept and colorful quills help a lot." I smiled.

"Well, you should teach a study skills class because it works."

"Thanks, if it only showed in my tests."

"I can help you there, I'm great at taking tests."

"Really? That would be great."

"Don't sound so surprised." He studied the floor and then smiled.

"I'll tell you how to ace all your tests on Thursday though since it is late and we don't want to stay out too much past our curfew," Fred said.

"Now you are a rule follower." I laughed as he punched me in the arm.

I realized I had all my work done for the next two days.

"Thanks for keeping me focused," Fred said.

"No problem, you did the same for me."

"Professor Snape always tries to trip you up, so he will add extra words to his questions. I always underline the question first and then read the question in full and read it an extra time. 

We sat at one of the Potions tables on Thursday, that I noticed had a nasty purple stain on it that smelled faintly of vomit. Fred munched on a cookie that I provided from the kitchen's, payback for the other evening.

“Professor Binns has a lot of information on his tests, but doesn't try to trip you up. Professor McGonagall is the same way. Professor Sprout likes a practical exam so you'll have to sign up for a time and you'll have to explain to her all about a certain plant. Professor Quirrell is the same way as Professor Sprout, his exams are really easy though, laughably easy. Professor Sinistra's exams are usually take-home so you can use your notes and book."

I wrote everything down that he told me. I felt safe around Fred. To ask Fred to study with me was probably the best thing that I could ever do for my mental health. I knew that one thing was stable in my life, study times with Fred.

It was nice to have a friend to complain to and sometimes we would abandon our books and go out to the Quidditch pitch and fly around. Fred taught me the first few weeks that I didn't always have to have my head stuck in a book to have a good study ethic. Sometimes I needed a break and that was okay.

Fred was safe and reliable which I needed right now in my life. When everything was closing in around me, Fred was giving me stability.


	6. Draco, Hidden Creatures and Detention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of 12/26/20, this chapter has been edited for flow, grammatical, and spelling errors.

I worked mostly in the dorm because it was quieter, but one Tuesday night, I was in the common room behind a huge pile of books. I needed to finish this essay on unicorn blood and I knew that no one would want to help me. All the Slytherins avoided me like my servitude would rub off on them.

Draco confidently strode into the common room, with Crabbe and Goyle moping behind him. Crabbe and Goyle’s shoulders were slumped like they had just been told off. I heaved a sigh and I wondered what he was going to complain about tonight. 

"I think the big oaf is hiding something. I want to get him fired, Dumbledore shouldn’t have hired such a big oaf. I just need evidence. I am going to sneak down tonight to his hut. He lives in a hut, not even a house, that’s where half-giants should live, anyway, I heard that Potter, Weasley and Granger are going to be down there tonight as well. They don’t think that anyone can hear them in the corridor.”

_ You are just obsessed with them, that’s why you can hear them. _

“Jo!" He noticed me, just then."Come with me." He smuggly eyed me on my roost, the lower half of my body completely covered in books. He knew that I couldn’t refuse him unless I wanted to get into trouble.

"I don't think that is a good idea, I have work and studying to do. You also don't want me to get all the glory when you catch Potter, Master Malfoy." I played to his pride, avoiding his request.

He smiled. "That's true, but if I get caught, I'm blaming you."

I gulped. I had been flying under the radar at the Malfoy Manor and hardly received punishment. 

Two hours later, I watched him climb out of the common room and come back in an hour after that, loudly saying, "Jo, I have detention and 50 points were taken from Slytherin, all because of you. Professor McGonagall didn't believe me when I told her that Hagrid was smuggling wild beasts and Potter, Granger and Weasley weren’t even down there. I'm writing to father right now."

I sat at the common room fire now with my Transfiguration book. I slunk back into the chair and my stomach sank. 

"Please Master Malfoy, don't." I pleaded, kneeling down in front of him.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because you are a good person, and you know deep down that I wasn't the one that caused your detention and point deduction." I raised my hands in a prayerful motion as Crabbe and Goyle guffawed. 

He laughed. "Sorry, Jo! This is for your own good."

Draco searched in his robes for a spare piece of parchment and I packed up my materials and slowly climbed the steps to the dorm, my shoulders slumped as I changed into my pajamas.

The next morning, I awoke with bloodshot eyes and Comfort nibbling on my ear, _ here we go, _ I thought.

_ Jo, _

_ How dare you get Draco detention? You encouraged him to go out after curfew to catch Potter, Weasley, and Granger. _

_ This has saddened me greatly. _

_ You will be taking Friday off from classes and coming home Thursday night at 6pm. _

_ Your punishment will be served Friday at 11am. _

_ Master Malfoy _

This was serious, Master Malfoy wanted to make sure he had time to punish me. He was a busy man who didn’t want to deal with his insolent servant girl who kept messing up.  _ Why didn’t he just kill me?  _

I drove Master Malfoy to the manor in the carriage. He said nothing and I got right to work when we arrived. I cleaned the horses and their stalls, smelling the musk of them oddly comforted me. I slumped into the kitchen where Dobby stood on a stool doing the dishes.

“Hi, Dobby.” 

He was so surprised that he dropped a plate on the counter.Thankfully, Master Malfoy was in his office. I did a quick repair charm. 

“Why don’t you use your own magic?” I asked as I dried the dishes and put them away. 

“Master Malfoy will not let me yet! He wants me to earn it.” Dobby squeaked, getting down from off the stool. 

“I see.” I stretched and took out my Transfiguration book from my bag.

Dobby’s eyes lit up. “Is that from Hogwarts?”

I smiled. “Yes, it is, why?”

“I have heard Hogwarts is such a magical place.”

“It is, it really is. I can’t wait to go back.”

“Why?” Dobby sat on the counter and swung his legs back and forth.

“This was never my home, I don’t feel safe here.”

He nodded and slunk off and started to bang his head against the oven door.

“Dobby, what are you doing?” I asked, panicked.

“I am punishing myself, Master Malfoy wants me to when I speak ill of the family.”

“You don’t need to do that around me!” I explained, hoping he would stop.

“Okay.” Dobby’s eyes looked like they would be permanently crossed and he had a bump growing on his head.

We were silent for a couple of minutes until Dobby whispered, “Tell me about Hogwarts.”

I told him all about my classes, friends and jobs. Dobby’s eyes were the size of crystal balls the whole time.

The early morning rays were coming into the kitchen window.

“You should get some sleep.”

“Thanks Dobby, I like our conversations.”

“Me too.” He beamed.

I made a nice breakfast for Master Malfoy and was just cleaning up when my alarm went off telling me that it was eleven. I went upstairs to Master Malfoy's study where I knelt in front of him by one of the nice armchairs, the glow of the fire reaching it.

"No, you won't be going through physical torture. Not yet, anyway."

I was scared, he had never tortured me any other way. He pulled me up by my neck and over to a black basin, with swirling gray fog in it. It wasn't quite liquid, but it wasn't quite gas either.

"What is it?" Curiosity getting the better of me.

Master Malfoy laughed, "The sorting hat might have chosen the wrong house for you. This is a pensive. It contains thoughts and memories. You can relive them, to learn from them or, in your case, to torture."I was finally putting two and two together. "We are going back to the night that I murdered your parents."

I wanted to run, to scream, to be anywhere but here, Master Malfoy killed my parents, my heartbeat quickened. My knees shook, but Master Malfoy held me up by the neck. I thought that he had just adopted me and gotten tired of taking care of two children so I got demoted. My eyes pricked with tears. My eyes darted around the room trying to clear my vision.

"Don't try anything." He eyed me while he took down a glass vial from the shelf surrounding the pensive. He poured it in. My legs were glued to the floor in utter shock.

He grabbed me by the hair and yanked me down into the pensive. An icy waterfall surrounded me and my breath was gone.We landed softly outside an apartment building. Master Malfoy started walking toward one of the apartments labeled "D." I shivered as he pushed me toward the door, gasping for air.

I saw a figure on top of the building that must have been Master Malfoy. Laughter and merriment warmed the landing. The laughing continued as the door opened.

A lady with a dark-haired pixie cut started the goodbyes, "We must do this again sometime soon, ever since the babies came, we can't do this nearly as much."

The man beside her nodded. He had a gaunt face, but kind eyes. He had a sweater vest on and little glasses on his nose. A baby nested in his arms, fast asleep.

"Ugh, Alice and Frank Longbottom. Auntie Bella took care of them. I hate when we have to serve them at Thanksgiving, every year she gives me a sock like it is the best item in the world," Master Malfoy commented, he picked some dead skin from his pinky finger.

So that was Neville when he was a kid.

My mom hugged Frank and Alice in turn and kissed little Neville. "Yes, of course. See you soon."

My dad nodded and shook Frank's hand. "Stay safe."

Frank nodded and they apparated on the spot. Master Malfoy and I followed them inside where they were doing dishes.

"That was so nice, it felt so normal," my mother said to my father, as she flicked her wand at the dry dishes and they stacked themselves neatly in the cupboard. The small kitchen was homey with bright red cabinets and gray countertops.

"Just a little while longer," my father stated as he wrapped his arms tightly around my mother.

I finally got a good look at them. I had my mother's long red hair. My mom was tall, about six foot, and was skinny. She wore glasses and had white eyes. It was an unusual feature that I liked about her. She had a kind face like you would want to have tea with her and tell her all your secrets. My father was a bit shorter than my mom, but not by much. He was skinny as well and had dark black eyes like me. He had dark black hair and was wearing a dark gray suit with a white vest. He looked nice. but like someone who you would not want to cross.

A baby started crying from the next room.

"Time to feed, Astoria."

"I'll go get her," my father said and my mom sat down on a stool in the kitchen.

A few minutes later, there was a crash from the other room. My mom ran in my room and there stood Master Malfoy with a baby in his arms. The crib turned over and diapers on the floor.

My dad was on the floor, blood was coming from his temple. My mom rushed to him.

" _ Crucio _ ."

My mom screamed. I crumpled to my knees and I could feel Master Malfoy's eyes on the back of my head.

"Stand up," both the Master Malfoy beside me and the one that was a memory snarled.

My mom and I both stood up with shaking legs.

Master Malfoy in the memory stated, " _ Relivo _ ."

My dad gasped with shaking breaths, he stood up by my mom, he grabbed her, placing her behind him. She shrank.

The Master Malfoy in the memory laughed. “You think you can protect her? Not even you can protect your family from the wrath of the Dark Lord.”

My dad spoke first, "Don't hurt her, she has done nothing wrong."

"Shouldn't she pay for the parent's mistakes?"

"No," both my parents said.

"Then tell me what I need to know." He pointed his wand at me.

"Anything," my mother stated her eyes never left me.

My dad clutched her close, like he knew what was coming.

"Why did you do this to the Dark Lord? He is very angry with you."

"We were getting paid by the Order to feed them information about the Dark Lord's whereabouts." My father stood up. He didn't want to cower away from what was to become his death day.

"You are cowards," Lucius snarled.

"We were living in fear, so we had to quit our jobs, we were going to lose our kids." My mother started to weep.

"I have a kid, it is so hard, but do you think I'm feeding the Order information?" Master Malfoy shook his head like it was the silliest thing he had ever heard.

"We shouldn't have done it, please have mercy on us, let us disappear. Please," my mother begged.

"No, The Dark Lord gave me this assignment."

"Aren't we friends?" My father asked, cradling my mother in his arms, who was silently crying at this point. I reached for them, but my arms went right through them like they were ghosts.

"Not anymore. You betray the Dark Lord, you betray me.  _ Crucio _ ."

My father dropped to the floor and my mother screamed. For the next hour, he tortured them giving them a few seconds to recover before saying the curse again. I couldn’t tell where my father ended and my mother began. My father tried to protect my mother from the brunt of the curse to no avail. My dad was writhing in pain and my mom was screaming.

I collapsed on the ground on all fours, sobbing beside my parents. My heart ached, they were protecting me. The guilt ate at me.

Until finally, with me still in his arms, Master Malfoy asked, "Had enough?"

My mom and dad were on the floor and clasped hands. "We love you Astoria.“ 

My dad stuttered, trying to raise his hand, but winced at the small movement and collapsed on the floor. He gritted his teeth as he scooted closer to my mother, she let out a small sound as he wrapped his arms around her.

“I love you too, dad.” I screamed, my voice tight and raspy.

“Yes," my dad said, defeated.

" _ Avada Kedavra _ !" Master Malfoy shouted.

A flash of green light and their vacant eyes told me.

“No, please come back!” I knelt down by their forms, my dad’s body angled to protect my mother’s. My mother’s nose bled onto the pink carpeting from the force of the curse. 

Master Malfoy, in the memory, took me out with him.

Master Malfoy, beside me, lifted me up by the neck. I struggled. 

“No,” I yelled, trying to go back to my parent’s forms. I wanted to be close to them, learn more about them.

Suddenly, we were rising up and I thought I saw a girl with black hair looking around. I dismissed this thought because my eyes were clouding with more tears.

As soon as we were out of the pensive, my knees buckled, and I fell to the floor.

"I'm so sorry." I gasped. "Please don't show that to me again." I heaved trying to catch my breath. I gagged and bile came up on the red carpeting. I realized I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch the day before. 

"You are worthless, I should have killed you with your worthless parents."

Master Malfoy pulled back my hair with his walking stick. He stuck his snake-headed cane in my shoulder. It was more excruciating than ever. I didn't know if it was because I was emotionally traumatized or because Master Malfoy had put a new potion on it. 

I screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

Master Malfoy was laughing. "You don't defy me and you don't tarnish the Malfoy name that has given so much to you."

"I won't."

He took his snake-fanged, wand holder out of me and then put them back in.

I screamed. "Never again."

He took his painful, snake fanged, walking stick away from my shoulders. "Get out of my sight. Dinner shall be served in thirty minutes and I better not see any results of what you have gone through here."

I nodded, weakly, and stumbled out of Master Malfoy's office. 

I silently cried for the rest of the night. Because of Master Malfoy's threat, I washed my face and blew my nose before serving dinner, but once dinner was over and the Malfoy’s retired for the evening, I immediately started crying again.

Why did they do what they did?

Why did they betray the Dark Lord?

I didn't believe it was just for the money.

It was for the greater good.

I wanted to do something for the greater good.

Right then, I felt so broken, I didn't know if I could get back up again. 

Master Malfoy called me into his office after the dishes were done. I bowed and waited. I hoped that he didn’t mind my red, puffy eyes. If he did, he didn’t say anything.

“You will be spending the rest of the weekend at Master Yaxley’s house. I do not want to see you anymore, you disgust me.”

My heart soared, Master Yaxley’s house was my favorite place, besides Hogwarts. It was the safest place for me. Master Yaxley was my favorite person.

“Thank you, Master Malfoy.”

I took a small handful of green powder, stepped into the fireplace and said, “Master Corban Yaxley’s house.”


	7. Yaxley's House

I stumbled out of the fireplace and into Uncle Corban’s arms. The weight of his arms around me left little to be desired in terms of comfort. I immediately started to cry.

He held me stroking my hair as I heaved with body-shaking sobs.

The fireplace crackled in the background as I sat up wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

“What’s wrong LD?” He asked me, rubbing my back as I caught my breath. I hadn’t been called that since I had been little.

“Did you know?” He looked at me quizzically. “Did you know that Master Malfoy killed my parents?”

He avoided my eyes. “Yes,” he whispered, he rubbed his hands through his graying, blonde hair. 

I stood up and started to pace one bookcase to the fireplace.

“If I had told you, would you have treated Master Malfoy the same?”

I glanced back at him, pushing my hands through my gnarled hair wet with tears and snot, knowing that he was correct.

“I wanted to save you, the pain of it, please, stop pacing, let me take care of you. You look like hell.”

I managed a half smile. I loved that he said how it was, never concealing anything from me. 

*****************

Uncle Corban came over about two months after the big transition, that’s what I was calling it in my mind, my family taken away from me in one swoop. 

Uncle Corban was the coolest uncle ever. He brought Draco and I presents every time he came over. When Uncle Luc and Aunt Cissa would go to galas or parties, he would come babysit. He always brought a few new books for me to read and a new toy for Draco. He would bathe us and read us stories before we would climb into Uncle Luc’s and Aunt Cissa’s bed and we would fall asleep under Uncle Corban’s strong arms.

When he came to the door, Master Malfoy forbade me from speaking to Uncle Corban. 

“Where are my two favorite kids in the whole world?” He sang with two large packages under his arms. Draco ran to him. “You are so big, Draco, you are going to be taller than me.” He lifted Draco up and spun him around while he laughed. 

I served tea and lunch in silence. Uncle Corban glanced at me and winked, his broad shoulders straight, but turned slightly towards me.

“Jo, come in here please,” Master Malfoy commanded at the end of lunch. Uncle Corban and Master Malfoy were in his office, cigar smoke came wandering out and down to the kitchen. I used to love that smell, it meant safety, now it meant that Master Malfoy wanted to show off his power.

I knelt by Master Malfoy’s feet waiting for him to acknowledge me.

“You will call Uncle Corban, Master Yaxley from now on, you will show him the same respect that you show me.”

“I understand, thank you, Master Malfoy.” I bowed and left. 

I cleaned up the dishes. I heard the door swing open and I fell into a bow, waiting for them to speak.

“Little Dandelion, my sweet.” Uncle Corban held open his arms for me and I jumped into them. I cried into his shoulder. “Hush, it is fine, let’s go outside, you can pet my horse.” He bundled me up in a blanket that was next to the back door. He let me pet Pony, Draco and I named it when we were two.

I was laughing by the time we came back in. Master Malfoy stood at the door.

“Where were you Jo? I need my tea.” Master Malfoy questioned me, looking back and forth from Yaxley to me, we were still smiling.

“Oh, come off it. She was helping me with Pony and she fell in the mud and we were laughing about that.” Uncle Corban smiled at me and winked again. 

Master Malfoy crossed his arms and started tapping his foot. 

“Let Jo get tea ready, I can use some before I am off, I have a proposition for you.” Uncle Corban slapped Master Malfoy on the back and steered him into his office. 

I breathed a sigh of relief.

The next evening, I was allowed to sit in the dining room while we ate dinner.

Master Malfoy cleared his throat and clapped his hands together. We all looked at him. “We are going on vacation, Jo, you will be going to Master Yaxley’s for the week. He said that he can train you so I don’t have to.”

I wanted to do a happy dance, but bowed my head and said in a respectful tone, “Thank you, Master Malfoy, I am sure I will learn a lot.”

“We will be back on Tuesday, thank you for doing this Corban, she needs to be trained. She keeps messing up.”

Uncle Corban nodded and roughly took my arm. “Don’t worry about a thing, have a good vacation.” He closed the door and turned to me. “I’m sorry that I grabbed you, are you okay?”

I nodded. He gave me a hug. The house looked like someone else had designed it, no personal effects on the wall. Even in the foyer, though, there were floor to ceiling shelves filled with books. 

I bowed. “Where should I start? Should I start making dinner, Master Yaxley?”

He tilted his head back and laughed. “When you are here, you are my guest, not a servant.”

He gave me a grand tour of the kitchen. The kitchen was dark, but he lit his wand and set me on the counter showing me where things were. “Up here.” Opening up a cupboard with a flick of his wand. “Are your favorite pop tarts, chocolate chip. You can come down here any time and get something if you are hungry. I want you to be healthy and you look so gaunt, are they feeding you?”

I looked down.

“You can be honest with me, you won’t get into trouble.”

“With everything that Master Malfoy makes me do, I have little time to eat or sleep.”

“I hope you can recover a bit, you are safe here, you can tell me anything.”

“Thank you!” I said, sheepishly, not used to the kindness that he was showing me.

“I’ll show you where you will be sleeping.” He led me up a winding staircase and turned into a room with the biggest bed that I have ever seen. The bed was made up with a blue comforter and white pillowcases with an iron headboard. There was a dark green dresser on the opposite wall that matched the trunk at the end of the bed. There was a huge present on the end of the bed in sparkly, pink wrapping paper. 

“That’s for you.”

My eyes popped as I ripped the wrapping paper off, inside were my own fairy tale books.

“I thought you needed your own.”

“Thank you Uncle Corban.”

“Of course, you are still my niece, no matter what Lucius says. It is a one bedroom flat, sorry that you can’t have your own room, but I hope…” He trailed off, looking around the simplicity of this house.

“It is perfect. Thank you so much.” My eyes brimmed with tears as I flung my arms around him. He picked me up and bounced me on the bed. I giggled and he smiled, his smile was so perfect. 

He walked over to the closet where he grabbed some sweatpants and a black shirt with the Weird Sisters on it. “Put these on, you don’t have to wear your servant uniform. I want you to be comfortable here. The bathroom is down the hall and to the left.” He smiled again and I stood up. He kissed me on the head as I grabbed the outfit from him.

I changed in the tiny, generic bathroom and I noticed that he stocked the bathroom with bubble bath. I stretched and returned to the room where Yaxley still sat at the end of the bed. He looked anxious.

“What is it Uncle Corban?” I crawled into his lap, he wrapped his arms around me.

“We need to get something out of the way before we go any further.”

“Okay, what is it?” I inhaled him, he smelled like stale cigarettes and aftershave: a salty and sweet mix that suited him. 

“I want to lay down some rules.” I nodded against his neck. He adjusted me so I looked him in the eye. “I have three rules while you are here, if you follow them, there will be no consequences.” I looked at him, fear in my eyes, I thought that he was my safe place in my now, dark, twisted world, maybe I was wrong.

“One: you will always call me Uncle Corban when you are here, not any of this Master Yaxley shit.” I gasped at the swear word and he laughed. I nodded, this one would not be hard to follow. “Two: you will follow everything I say, big or small, I love you and I want you to be safe. Everything I want you to do is for your safety.”

I mumbled, “I love you too, Uncle Corban.” 

He smiled and continued. “Three: there will be no sad tears in this house, only happy ones.” He started to tickle me and I laughed so hard that I started to cry. 

“Let me show you my favorite room in my flat.” He carried me downstairs, my tiny arms around his neck. I finally felt safe. “Close your eyes.” I followed the demand. “Open.” I opened them and let out a little squeak. 

The walls were covered in books. He grinned and nudged me forward. “They won’t bite, you can pull down the books, just put them back where you found them.” I hadn’t seen this many books in one room in my entire life. For the rest of the afternoon, I read before the library fire.

Uncle Corban cleared his throat and I looked away from my book. “Please go take a shower, there are shorts and t-shirts in the closet. I’m going to get you a surprise for dinner. When you are done, do not leave the room, you can take one book upstairs with you.” I nodded and did as I was told. 

I sat in the big bed reading my book when Yaxley came in with two big sundaes. My eyes grew to the size of orbs and a smile lit up my face. 

“You are so beautiful, especially when you smile, I want to keep it there always.” He kissed me on the forehead, gave me a spoon and watched me devour the sundae. We fall asleep, his arm around me and my head on his chest. 

I screamed in the night, waking Uncle Corban. I thrashed around in the bed. “LD, wake up, it is just a nightmare!” He said, shaking my shoulder.

My eyes opened and my breath hitched, not knowing where I was, I looked to the left and the right and noticed Uncle Corban’s bright blue eyes filled with anxiety and concern. 

“It’s okay, you are safe.” The book that I brought up with me was still sitting on the bedside table. He turned on the light and grabbed it. “It’s okay,” he said again, “Come here.”

I shuffled over to him and cuddled into the crook of his arm as he read to me until my breath slowed.

The next day, I rose early and got breakfast ready. Uncle Corban had been over to our house for breakfast numerous times so I knew what he liked. I found a tray in one of the upper cabinets and brought eggs, toast, bacon, and coffee up to him. I kissed him on the cheek as he still was fast asleep. 

“What’s this for?” He asked, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

“Thank you for making me feel safe.” I looked down. 

He took my head in his rough, firm hands. “Never be ashamed of doing something nice. Thank you.”

We shared the breakfast that I made.

“What many people do not know about me is that I am a wonderful cook.” He clapped his hands together later that afternoon. “Lucius tells me that you are lacking in that department.”

“I’m lacking in that department because I’m only five.” I defended myself, crossing my arms. I realized what I had done. “I’m sorry, I am just so frustrated and confused.”

Uncle Corban held up his hand. “It’s okay, you are safe here. Now, I will be teaching you how to make fish, chicken and meat, all to the Malfoy’s liking.”

“Okay.” I said, pulling at the strings of the apron that Uncle Corban had given me. 

“I will also be teaching you how to make pizza, we need to have a little fun, you need to be a kid.” He nudged me and I smiled. 

“Alright, first let’s make fish, you better eat a lot of this since I don't like it.” He made a disgusted face and I laughed. “Now, cut off the tail and the head.” I did as I was told. “Now, take your finger and find the ribs of the fish. You want to take your knife and slice between those and the backside of the fish.”

“This is fun,” I said, sliding the knife as Uncle Corban instructed.

“Good, I want you to love the kitchen as much as I do.” He ruffled my hair so I had fish guts in it.

“Stop.” I laughed. 

“Come over here and I’ll teach you a spell to cook fish perfectly.” He took out his wand from a holster around his waist and spoke clearly, “Coquus pisces.” I copied him and he clapped when I did it correctly. 

Soon the kitchen smelled of veal in a white wine sauce, meatloaf, tacos and pizza. The conflicting smells overwhelmed me, but excited me at the same time. 

We ate with our fingers, standing up at the counter, the various meals that we made. 

As we finished our dinner, I cleared my throat and Uncle Corban looked up at me expectantly.

“Can I ask you something?” My voice was small and fearful.

“Of course, LD, but if it is about desert, there is no way I could eat another bite.” I smirked.

“No, it’s not that. Can I stay here with you? Would you please adopt me? I don’t want to go back!” I pleaded.

“No!” He yelled back.

I shrunk back, bowing to him out of habit. I waited, the meatloaf still sizzled in the pan on the opposite counter.

He stood up from the chair and lifted me up into his arms. “I didn’t mean to frighten you, I am as frustrated as you are. The Servant and Slave Administration will not allow me to do that without Lucius’s permission and he won’t let me, believe me, I’ve asked. I will protect you the best I can. I know it won’t be enough, but I’ll try my hardest.”

“It will be enough.” He carried me to the library and we read for the rest of the evening.

Before Master Malfoy came to pick me up, Uncle Corban said, “You need to look sad when Lucius comes to pick you up, I’m going to tell him that I put you in your place and that you will not give me any more trouble.”

I did as I was told,  _ follow all the directions I give you or there will be consequences. _

When the Malfoy’s went on vacation or to a party, I went to Uncle Corban’s. We laughed and talked. As long as I followed those three rules, I was going to be safe and secure in his house. 

*******************************************

“I’m sorry,” I said, still in his arms. “I know that the rules say that I can’t cry sad tears here.”

He laughed, “You are such a rule follower, there is an expectation to every rule.” Uncle Corban untangles himself from me and leads me to the library and puts a blanket over me. He left only for a minute to get me a cup of tea. I sipped at it and he moved me so I could sit on his lap like a little girl. I curl my body into his and he pulls the blanket over both of us. He carried me up the stairs to the bathroom where he turns on the tub. He washes me paying attention to my shoulders as he sees the new snake-fanged holes, dripping a bit of blood.

I stared into space completely oblivious to what he was doing, replaying the memory that Master Malfoy showed me.

My parent’s screams.

My screams.

The complete indifference in Master Malfoy’s eyes as he tortured me.

Uncle Corban stood me up and handed me a fresh towel. He stood back, gazing at me for a minute with concern in his eyes and there was something else, but maybe I was just imagining it. 

He hands me a nighty that he got me. “Crawl into bed, it will all be okay in the morning.”

I wake up with puffy eyes, Uncle Corban’s arms fastened tight around me; my wonderful, protective uncle. 

I try to stand up, but his arms are plastered to my body. He stirs. “It is okay, you are safe, here in my arms.”

I snuggle closer to him and he strokes my hair. 

“Do you want to talk about it? It is the only way to move on.”

I answer his question with a question. “Is the expectation of rule number two still in effect?”

He laughs. “You won’t get into any trouble with me, you’ve been through a traumatic experience, sweetheart, you are safe here, remember?”

I nod my head against his shoulder. I tell him what happened last night and what I did to deserve that punishment. He was silent and stroked my hair and back. I started crying when I was finished, his arms tightened around me.

He repeated. “Hush, you are fine, you are safe now.” I fell asleep leaning against his chest. When I woke up, he was gone, but with a note on the pillow.  _ Went to get you a surprise for you, stay in bed. _

_ UC _

I curled up in the fetal position, feeling oddly better from getting it all out. Uncle Corban came back 15 minutes later with a huge sundae. I start to laugh and he smiled.

Just like when I was a kid.


	8. The Choir Concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been edited for grammatical, spelling, flow as of November 15th 2020. This chapter has also been updated with more information! Enjoy!

It surprised me at times that I was so young, my body betrayed my eleven year old frame. I stiffly slunk around the Malfoy Manor as I recovered from the physical abuse that I endured.

The emotional scars were another story. Beyond my closed eyes, all I could comprehend were the tortured faces of the people I loved the most, but never knew. 

Master Malfoy smiled at me whenever I flinched away from his cane. I lost my appetite and needed to force myself to eat. Passing out was not an option.

_ Do not be seen or heard. _

Now I needed to be the perfect servant girl.

*****************************

“Uncle Luc, are you really my uncle?” I asked. I played with my dollhouse while Uncle Luc poured over some papers in his office.

Uncle Luc smiled at me and came over to my dollhouse to play with me. He picked up a boy doll and sat it down in one of the miniature chairs.

“No, but I wish I was.”

“Where are my parents?” 

“They were mixed up in some bad things. They couldn’t take care of you and knew I could, so they left you here with me.”

I nodded my head, my three-year-old self thinking this through.

He stood up. “The man who killed your parents wanted something, but it was small compared to your parent’s lives.” He took out his wand from his walking stick and brandished it. He also put on a red cape that laid on the floor from Draco and I’s escapades around the house pretending to be heroes.

“The man who took my dear friends and your mommy and daddy from you was wearing a mask, they clattered to the floor, I fought the man off.” He sent red and green sparks up with his wand.

I watched this in awe.

“When I came into your room, you were just sitting in your crib, looking up at me.”

He scooped me up, I giggled and I was put on his shoulders and we galloped around the room.

I shouted, “Hooray for Uncle Luc!”

He set me down so I could continue to play with the dollhouse. “I’m glad that I am here.”

“So am I, Tori, so am I.” He pulled me onto his lap and kissed me on the cheek.

****************************

I thought of my parents' screams every time I wanted to talk back.

Every time I sat in the library with the genealogy of wizard kind in front of me, the anguished screams streamed into my mind and visions of their cohorted bodies would dance before my eyes.

“Hey, servant girl.” Millicent stalked over to my table. She pushed me back down, my backside bruised against the table leg as I staggered to not fall onto my backside. “Can’t you read?”

Madame Pince glowered at us, but kept stacking books. 

“I am in a hurry, Millicent.” I ran out of the library trying not to lose it.

Above the heads of the other students, I saw a red-headed boy. I ducked into an empty classroom. Successfully avoiding Fred. I breathed a sigh of relief. I closed the door slowly and a piano emerged before me. I tinkled a few keys and set down my shoulder bag.

The methodical music soothed me as I closed my eyes, my mom’s smile clouded my vision. 

I.

Was.




Worthless.

Servant.

Girl.

Tears streamed down my face as I laid my head down on the keys with a loud bang.

One evening, my head lightly hit my Transfiguration notes as I played some keys while lightly. I rubbed my eyes and pulled out the bench and started to play.

Professor Flitwick walked in. I stood up, curtsied out of habit. "I'm so sorry. The room was empty and piano playing is how I get out my stress. I'm leaving now."

"Get back here," Professor Flitwick stated.

_ Great _ ,  _ he is going to give me detention, and then I'll be in a world of trouble with Master Malfoy. _

"As I have noticed, you are in your books quite a bit. The choir practices is right after dinner Monday through Thursday. Can you do it?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful, you start next week."

Master Malfoy wanted me to join an extracurricular to seem more normal and the choir wasn't going to draw any attention,  _ so why not. _

Professor Filtwick tapped the podium to get everyone’s attention the next Monday. The talking died down, a few people rushing to finish their conversations. “I would like to introduce our new piano player: Jo.” Everyone clapped politely and I gave a tiny, nervous wave from the piano bench. 

“Jo, if you just want to sit back and watch you may for the first choir practice. I do not expect you to play these songs flawlessly.”

“It’s okay, Professor. I learn a lot better by doing. Be patient with me as I might play a few wrong notes.” I smiled sheepishly at him.

“Oh, of course.” Professor Filtwick tapped the podium again and we began. 

I started to play. We were working on three songs: one called ‘Going to Work.’ one called ‘the Anthem of Wizards,’ and the last one called ‘Freedom.’

About a week into choir practice, Professor Flitwick called me over when I was leaving class.

“Yes, Professor Filtwick, what do you need?” I asked timidly, _ what did I do wrong this time? _

“Your Professors have told me that your work in class has improved exponentially, though they did say that they didn’t think that was possible. You are one of the best students. They asked what has happened over the past week.”

“I joined the choir.” I let out a deep breath.

“Yes, maybe this will be a lesson to you that you need to take care of yourself as well so you can be the best for other people.” He squeaked. He managed to wave his wand and get the last of the pin cushions into a neat pile in the corner.

“Thanks very much. I’ll see you tonight for practice.”

That night, I started to let my personality show through and started to sway to the music as I played it. 

Millicent smirked as the choir packed up their music. “Swaying servant.”

My cheeks turned a bright red. I retreated into myself like a turtle. I thought this was supposed to be a safe place. 

Everyone left the choir room in packs. Millicent wandered over to Jac and whispered something and they both looked at me and laughed. 

I tried to make myself invisible that weekend, taking an extra shift in the hospital wing to try to avoid the common room. 

_Swaying Servant!_ _Swaying Servant!_ This phrase repeated itself all weekend. I started to make stupid mistakes on my homework.

_ Now I am stupid servant, as well as a swaying servant. _

On Monday, I wandered into the choir room a bit early and only Professor Flitwick was there. “Jo, may I speak to you please?”

“Of course, Professor.” I set my bag down near the piano.

“What happened on Thursday?”

“Nothing that I can’t handle.”

“If you are being hurt in any way, you would let me know, I can’t read your mind, you know!”

“I know.”

The rest of the choir started to come in and started to get into place.

“Alright,” Professor Filtwick said, not believing me.

I led the choir through scales and warmups. Professor Flitwick tapped the podium and everyone fell into silence. “Before we begin, I just want to remind each of you that this is a safe space to explore. No name calling or put downs will be tolerated. That’s all, let’s start with ‘Freedom’ tonight.”

Millicent didn’t call me a swaying servant again in the choir room, but would do it in the corridors.

“Swaying Servant!” She would call as a greeting to me as I tried to dodge her insults.

One evening after choir practice in the dormitory, her cronies cornered me. 

“Hi Jac. Hi Stephanie.” I acknowledged their presence.  _ Please let me by. _

“Milicent wants to talk with you.”

“Where is she?”

“She says that we can beat you first.” Jac sneered. 

“Okay.”

“Why aren’t you resisting?”

“It might be hard for you to believe, but this is not the first time I’ve been beaten and not the last. This will probably be very tame in what I’ve faced.”

Jac grinned. “We’ll just have to level up then.”

“You can try.”

Jac punched my stomach, the wind knocked out of me as Stephanie kicked my knees so I landed on the hard, dark wood of the floor. Jac and Stephanie kicked my ribs as I heard a crack. I coughed, the crimson, red blood I gagged on was only the beginning. 

_ I would rather have this than seeing my parents worst moment. _

“Ah, good. You are breaking her in.” Millicent grinned from above.

I gagged on my own blood as I turned over onto my stomach and struggled to sit up.

“What do you want to talk to me about?” My throat filled with copper as I tried to speak.

“I just wanted to make sure you knew that you were a swaying servant and your Master has been kind enough to allow you to come here. Don’t forget that.”

“I haven’t. I am very grateful to Master Malfoy.”

‘Good, I’ll tell him.”

About a week before Christmas break, Professor Flitwick made an announcement, "This Saturday will be our choir concert. It will be at 2 pm and go until about 3 pm. Refreshments will be served afterward."

My heart sank, I totally forgot that I overbooked myself, this Saturday was the Malfoy's annual Christmas party. Another party to show off Malfoy's great wealth. 

Right now, I had to finish homework. I'd write to him first thing in the morning.

I was up late studying and fell into an uneasy sleep on the common room couch. I awoke to Comfort on the side table. 

_ Looks like Master Malfoy beat me to it.  _ I thought, as I reached for the envelope, held together by a green ribbon.

_ Jo, _

_ I will be coming up to school tomorrow night, Severus will lead you down at 8 sharp.  _

_ Master Malfoy _

I hated that he called himself Master Malfoy, it gave him too much power.

I guess I would tell him tomorrow.

At 7:30pm the next evening, I slugged down to Professor Snape's office.

"Hello, how are you doing?" Professor Snape stood atop a rickety ladder, placing bottles and beakers behind the glass of his storeroom.

"I'm great! How are you?"

"You don't have to do that with me."

"What?"

"Pretend that everything is okay when it is clearly not." He busied himself making tea. "Sit down."

I did as I was told.

I sipped at my tea, my stomach in knots and my appetite gone.

Professor Snape motioned me to follow him. He led me down a dim passageway to a small room with a huge fire ablaze. Master Malfoy sat before it reading the Evening Prophet.

"Thank you, Severus." Master Malfoy waved a dismissive hand at him.

Professor Snape walked past me and whispered, "Be strong."

I nodded and knelt in front of Master Malfoy.

"You won't be punished...just yet. Sit."

I sat in the other armchair facing the fire. The warmth radiating, the sound of crackling eased me somewhat. 

"I wanted to talk to you about the Christmas party. The menu I will leave up to you, but you will be serving about 200 guests."

My mouth dropped open, "That's double of what it was last year."

"I made more friends, will that be a problem?"

"No, Master!"

"Good, that's all, unless you have something else." He waved a dismissive hand in my direction now.

"Actually, Master." I took a deep breath. "I have a choir concert that afternoon. I joined the choir after Professor Flitwick heard me playing piano in one of the practice rooms. I thought it would keep up the Malfoy image. You asked me to join some inconspicuous extracurriculars, so I wasn't so weird."

Master Malfoy watched me as if he was contemplating his next move. "When is it?"

"At two, it should be done by three. I didn't remember until yesterday."

"Come over here," Master Malfoy stood and took his snake-topped cane off his chair.

I slumped over and pulled back my hair from my shoulders.

His cane came  _ whooshing _ down and attached to my shoulder, I gritted my teeth.

"Here's how this is going to go, you will come to the manor Friday afternoon, you will skip potions. We will come back Saturday at 1:30 so you can get ready. Mistress Malfoy and I will be there. We have to leave by 3:10 to be back so you can serve at the Christmas party. Clear?"

"Crystal." I whispered.

"Good." He laughed, softly, and pressed the snake into my shoulder. I screamed.

The rest of the week went by in a blur of soreness and stress.

On Thursday as I was packing, Comfort soared in. 

“Arrggghhh.” I grunted as I untied the ribbon from her leg.

_ LD, _

_ What didn’t you tell me that you were going to be in a choir concert? _

_ Thankfully, I heard Lucius grumbling about it over drinks. _

_ I’ll be there. _

_ Love you! _

_ UC _

At least someone would be there who cared about me.

I ran down to the Great Hall after Herbology on Friday with a small bag of clothes for the weekend. Master Malfoy and I trudged in silence to the outskirts of the Hogwarts grounds. We apparated and I fell a few inches from the landing point. Master Malfoy stood above me wiping off his sleeves.

I quickly ran to the house and changed into my uniform. I pulled my long hair into a ponytail.

I made tiny finger sandwiches, quiche, and a zillion Christmas cookies.

By five, everything was as ready as it would ever be and breakfast was on the table. After breakfast, I cleaned the house, while Dobby helped put up the Christmas tree.

Even though this was a stressful time, I loved the jolly smells and all the lights of the Christmas season.

Master Malfoy said “Let’s get this over with.” We trailed down the long driveway. Before I stepped onto the path up to Hogwarts, Master Malfoy pulled me back by the hair.

He whispered, "Don't embarrass me."

I nodded and he let go of my hair. We walked up to the castle. Master and Mistress Malfoy took their seats in the front row, while I went into a side room to line up beside the rest of the choir.

My heartbeat was ertantic as I walked onto the stage about 15 minutes before showtime and started playing background music. I glanced over the crowd. Master Malfoy’s eyes bore into mine with a slight smirk on his face. Mistress Malfoy spoke to Millicent’s mom. I played for another few minutes, wondering if Uncle Corban was coming after all. 

Uncle Corban strode through the Great Hall to a seat in the back. He rose an imaginary fluke to me as I smiled and finished the last bit of music. Everyone clapped politely. 

Professor Flitwick stood tall, as much as a four-foot person could, behind him came the rest of the choir. They stood on the pews. I saw Master Malfoy nod his head in my direction.

_ Here we go. _

I played the first song. I stood up, bowed. Sat down and played the next song. I stood up, bowed again.

The third song was the hardest not to get wrapped up in. I soared when I played piano, I felt normal.

I started to sway but stopped myself. We finished the song and I bowed and went off the stage. 

I rushed to put my music away properly and almost bumped into Professor Flitwick.

"I'm so sorry, Professor."

"It is quite alright, dear. You did amazing today. Are you going to stay for refreshments?"

"I can't, I have another obligation. Thank you for everything."

"Of course, Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas!"

I speedily walked to where Master Malfoy and Mistress Malfoy stood and led our way out into the chilly grounds.

We apparated as soon as we arrived in Hogsmeade. I stumbled off in the direction of the manor. As soon as I was done putting things out onto the tables, there was a knock at the door. I rushed to let the first party guests in and take their coats.

Once everyone arrived, it was quite easy. I just had to make sure that the refreshment plates were filled.

Every ten minutes, I would go out and refresh the plates of cookies and tiny finger sandwiches. I worked on homework and I even finished Professor Snape's homework. Professor Snape wanted me to learn so he gave me extra homework when I missed his class.

I helped everyone with their coats, remaining silent as Master and Mistress Malfoy politely thanked their guests and said "Happy Christmas."

After everyone left, I retreated into the kitchen again. The rule for the Malfoy's parties was that I couldn't start cleaning until they retired to bed.

I heard footsteps receding up the stairs about 30 minutes later. I cleaned up quickly and quietly.

As I crept up the stairs, I saw that Master Malfoy's study light was on. I crept in to turn it off.

"Hello," Master Malfoy spoke from his desk, looking at some papers.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were still awake, I came to turn off the light." I curtsied and started to back out of his office.

"I wanted to talk to you."

I fell into silence and closed the door.

I waited.

He stood up from his desk twirling the snake-fanged cane in his hand. The fire light glited off it. I gulped.

"You embarrassed me today, you got way into the music. You were attracting too much attention."

"Okay." I kneeled and pulled back my hair.

"Wait, no push back?" Master Malfoy sounded surprised.

"It won't help, but for the record, I need a release. I have to be perfect all the time and I am not. I'm human."

"Noted." Then Master Malfoy stuck his snake fangs in my shoulder. "If you scream and wake up my wife, I can do much more than this."

"Okay." I wheezed.

This was torture, the screams trapped inside my head. The clock on the opposite wall agnozied me as slow minute after slow minute ticked by. 

About twenty minutes later, I was flat on my floor, biting my cheek so hard, I tasted blood. He stopped.

I panted and sat up. My shoulders were swollen already and the burning sensation ebbed and flowed.

"You need to be perfect because the Malfoy Family is perfect."

"I'm not a Malfoy." I told him.

My eyes were downcast and I was completely extinguished of fight.

"You are a Malfoy whether you like it or not. If you live under this roof you will act like a Malfoy."

"Okay." There was nothing more I could say.

I, shakily, stood up, curtsied, and went upstairs to my little room and cried. 

The next morning, I set up the Christmas tree. Thankful that school was out for the semester.

Master Malfoy was staring at me from the dining room table. I continued what I was doing, his eyes, like daggers, in my back, made me sweat.

Once I was finished, I walked back to the kitchen to get Master Malfoy some tea. He grabbed my hand as I walked by. I curtsied again and waited for him to speak.

"Mistress Malfoy and I have spoken and we want you back at Hogwarts by nine tonight for Christmas break."

I nodded, successfully containing my glee. I could finally get some sleep and read what I wanted from the library.

"We now have somewhere to send you that will not raise any suspicion from my colleagues at the Ministry. Before you leave, we want you to make some of your Christmas goodies and clean the house."

I nodded. "Everything will be ready. How am I getting back?"

"Floo powder into the Three Broomsticks and you will walk the rest of the way and send us an owl immediately once you arrive."

"Thank you. Is that all you need?"

"For now."

I curtsied for what felt the millionth time that day and set about my task. I had to put extra spells on all the rooms to make sure they would self-clean. The spells wore off in about two weeks and if used too often these spells could kill brain cells and cripple a person's left hand. 

I always tried a new cookie or candy. I melted the chocolate for peppermint bark.

This part of being a servant was strangely soothing, it had a start and end and I was good at it. I prided myself on my ability to keep a house looking nice and producing wonderful things out of the kitchen. 

Uncle Corban had instilled that in me at a young age. We almost forgot to eat all the goodies we made. I tried new recipes and Uncle Corban would try them and give me honest feedback and wouldn’t punish me if it didn’t taste good.

I put everything onto a Christmas platter and some in a tin for me to take to Hogwarts. I walked up the stairs to gather all my books. When I arrived downstairs, Master Malfoy was there with a jar of green powder.

I stated, "I have to go get some of the cookies and candies to bring back to Hogwarts with me."

He pursed his lips but pointed to the kitchen and I ran to get the Christmas tin and put it in my bag. "Happy Christmas, Master Malfoy." He nodded.

I stepped inside the fireplace and shouted, "The Three Broomsticks."

_ Whoosh! _

I was coughing and spluttering as I stepped out of the fireplace into the Three Broomsticks. I found some galleons that day in the couch cushions, so I decided to get a butterbeer to go. The kind lady took notice that I was in a hurry and put two large bottles on the counter.

"I can't afford two."

"They are on me darling, I won't tell. Happy Christmas." Her toothless grin sent a smile to my face.

"Thank you. Happy Christmas to you too." I put the galleons that I was going to spend on the bottle of butterbeer in the jar for Saint Mungo's.

I hurried up to the castle, which was about a five-minute walk. Comfort was waiting for me in a tree across from Hagrid's hut.

I pulled out a spare piece of parchment and wrote:

_ Made it. Happy Christmas. _

I set Comfort off and hurried off into the castle. No one was in the Slytherin common room as I rushed up the stairs to the dormitory.

I took a nice, long shower and crawled into bed. I could sense my body calming as I drifted off into the most peaceful sleep that I had had in quite a while.

I awoke to the sunlight and a bad tickle in my nose. My body was finally coming down.

I took another shower to clear out my sinuses and went down to the hospital wing.

"Hi Madame Pomfrey!"

"Hello, Jo. I thought you went home for Christmas."

"The Malfoy's wanted me here."

"You don't work today. How can I help?"

"I was wondering if you could give me an anti-cold potion. I believe I am finally getting one."

"Sit up here in bed." She pointed to an empty bed.

I sat and as she examined me, she made notes on a chart. Then she tutted away.

"Unfortunately, you will have to stay overnight. You look as though you are getting everything at once."

"May I go get my books first?"

"I'll send someone to get them. Lay back now."

She started me on drinking an anti-cold potion, a sleeping draught, and ear drops. The laziness as I sat back in the pillows brought me peace.

When I woke next, my bag was beside the bed and I did some studying while Madame Pomfrey busied herself with another three potions: another sleeping potion, more ear drops, and a potion that tasted like cherries for sore throats.

This continued all night with ten other potions. I woke at about noon the next day. I felt at peace and better physically than I had in a long time.

Madame Pomfrey stated, "You are finally up."

"Thank you. I feel so much better."

"Your orders are to not work the rest of the break and to come see me once a year to get you better from how the Malloy's are treating you."

I nodded.

With those orders, I went down to the Great Hall to get some food, I was starving. I barely noticed that there were so few students there. The house with the most students was Gryffindor because of the Weasley's. I was the only one from Slytherin, which was fine by me.

I ate my sandwich and jello in silence and wandered off in the direction of the library.

Someone was following me with red hair. I smiled to myself and he followed me all the way down to the library. I checked out “Quidditch Through the Ages,” “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” and “A Dummies Guide to Muggles.”

"What are you doing, ‘Stori?"

"Checking our books for reading over the break."

"I saw you were in the Hospital Wing last night. You good?"

"Thanks, yeah! My body got really sick. It must be coming down from a long semester. My walking orders were to stay away from work."

"Cool, my brothers and I are going to play Quidditch later, want to join?"

"Sure!"

"Great!"

We trailed down to the Slytherin common room so I could get on my warmest robes. Fred wanted down in the common room, he twiddled his thumbs, gazing around with wide eyes.

I laughed when I punched him in the shoulder to get his attention. “Did you think Slytherins slept in coffins or something?”

“No, but I didn’t think it would be as nice as this.”

“Alright, sure.”

We mounted our brooms, the brisk air blew my hair back. 

“Fred and Astoria you okay with being a team?” George asked.

“No!” Fred joked.

I shoved him and shakily took off.

We played three games, Fred and I won all three. “Now, will you think twice about complaining?”

“You’re good.” Fred admitted.

“Hey let’s go down to Hagrid’s, he always has a fire going and my fingers are about to fall off.” George shivered. 

We stepped into the crunchy snow and knocked on Hagrid’s door.

He beamed when he saw us and ushered us in to have rock cookies and hot chocolate. Though I bit into a rock cookie and nearly shattered my teeth. Fred smiled at me conspiratorially. 

We crunched back up to the castle to have dinner, smiling and laughing all the way. 

The next morning I woke to Comfort nibbling at my ear. My stomach sank, but I untangled the note from her leg and saw it wasn't from Master Malfoy.

_ Astoria, _

_ I delivered your Christmas present to the Gryffindor common room. _

_ Hope you enjoy! _

_ Happy Christmas. _

_ Love and Hugs, _

_ Mrs. Weasley _

Wow! My first Christmas present from someone outside of Uncle Corban since becoming a servant! I almost cried with joy.

I showered and dressed and ran up to the Gryffindor common room and knocked. Fred opened the door and yelled, "Happy Christmas!"

"A very Happy Christmas to you as well." I laughed as I was pulled in.

He led me into the room where his brothers were all opening gifts. I had a small parcel underneath the tree. I opened it and it turned out to be a green sweater with a silver "A" on it.

The Weasley's groaned. "You are now a part of the family. You will be forever. Mom knitted you a Weasley sweater. I told her that you would be spending Christmas here and you don't have the most supportive family." Fred sat back on the couch, his head facing the golden ceiling.

"It is absolutely wonderful." Tears filled my eyes.

"You don't get Christmas presents very often then?" asked Percy, dumbfounded, already halfway through a box of fudge.

_ Trend lightly,  _ I thought to myself.

"No, my foster parents are very good to me, but they are not wealthy and I am not a part of their family."

"Welcome to ours!" said George, grabbing me and rubbing my hair with his fist.

I laughed. “Stop it.” As I tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

The rest of the day was spent playing exploding snap, wizarding chess, and playing Quidditch inside the common room. We went down to the feast together. The aromas of the food wafted out of the Great Hall. I loaded my plate with chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. The deserts appeared when my tummy bludged with yumminess. I loaded another plate with chocolates and little Christmas cakes.

This is what school should be like. For a couple of hours, I felt normal.

I felt like I belonged.

That night, I heard Ron and that Potter kid talking about sneaking out of their dorm to visit a mirror.

I was curious so I followed them, after they left, I walked up to the mirror.

I touched the mirror, cold as ice, I stepped back. I squinted closer, the mirror reflected my image. I wore a red patch. In the first war, the red patch signified that they were against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. 

It was weird because the red patch was pinned to the outside of my shirt, but I was wearing my Slytherin colors with pride.

Master Malfoy came into the mirror then. I had my wand in my hand and we faced off, ready to duel. I heard something too, a woman's soft voice and a man's husky voice saying, "We are proud of you, Astoria Josephine G...."

I couldn't hear my last name, but the voices seemed familiar to me, it seemed like a memory.

I stepped away from the mirror and backed into Snape.

"Come with me." He whispered and he led me to his office.

"I'm sorry, please don't tell."

"I won't, to be honest, I don't like Lucius anymore then you do. You need to keep your enemies close."

I nodded. "What is that weird mirror?"

"It is called the Mirror of Erised. It shows us the things that our heart most desires. What did you see?"

"I saw myself working against Master Malfoy and dueling with him. I heard some voices saying that they were proud of me."

"Interesting, I thought you would have seen your parents."

"I didn't know them and they are dead, all I can do is make them proud of me." 

"Be careful, I don't want to see you get more hurt than you already are. Now off to bed with you."

"Yes, sir. Thank you."

My mind reeled,  _ was Professor Snape working against the Malfoy's? _

I needed to rise the next morning at three to get Boxing Day shopping underway. This is how the Malfoys housed me. They had enough money to house all of Hogwarts for seven years and still have money left over.

But, they didn't have enough for me. I don't think Master Malfoy even knew how to make toast without me.

They gave me 50 galleons for clothes and 50 galleons for school supplies. Since Master Malfoy had power as a school governor, he received the school book list before anyone else. I knew that there was going to be a different Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher before anyone else and I knew who Professor Quirrel's replacement would be. I would be severely punished if I told anyone about this.

I knew that Madame Malkin was having a buy one set of robes, get one free and the thrift store was having a buy one bag of clothing get one free. I hoped I could find all my books at good prices too. Books were a bit more expensive than anything else on my list.

I stepped into the grate at the Three Broomsticks and took a fistful of the green powder and shouted. “Diagon Alley.”

The old drunk man that undressed me at the bar disappeared and into view came the Leaky Cauldron, deserted and quiet.

I quickly moved across the freshly packed snow into Madame Malkin's robe shop.Surprisingly, there was no line outside Madame Malkin's. She hurriedly measured me.

"Madame Malkin, will you please leave the robes one to two inches longer, these are for next year?"

"Yes." She replied curtly, but in her eyes, I could see the sadness and the want to help me.

After I received measurements, with a few flicks of her wand, she packaged my new robes.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed and walked out carrying my parcel.

I stumbled down the block to the thrift shop and bought any clothes that I would need.

I looked in the book section and found two of the seven that I needed. Hopefully, the remaining 50 galleons would be enough for quills and the five remaining books.

I walked out of the thrift shop, down the street, deeper into Hogsmeade and deeper became my need for warmth.

I almost walked straight into Master Malfoy.

"I'm so sorry, Master Malfoy. Happy Boxing Day." I bowed.

"Happy Boxing Day. Are you enjoying yourself at the castle?"

"Very much so. Thank you, sir."

"My informants tell me as such. Though, they also tell me that you have been spending a lot of time in the Gryffindor common room, mind telling me who you are hanging out with?"

"Of course, sir. I am hanging out with a couple of people that are in the choir with me. I am the only one in Slytherin that stayed so they invited me up so I wouldn't spend Christmas alone."

"That's nice. Just stay away from the Weasley's, blood traitors, all of them. You need to keep up the Malfoy image, which includes who you make friends with."

"I understand, sir."

"I need to get to a meeting at the Leaky Cauldron. Madame Pomfrey sent me an owl, everything okay?"

"Yes, I seemed to get everything that could go wrong, all at once."

"Okay." He walked off.

It was a Christmas miracle that he believed me.

I walked off in the opposite direction, down to a little shop called "Recon Books." This store sold second-hand books and trade-ins.

It had a special display of Lockhart books and all five were on it. Wonderful! They were 10 galleons each, but I could always bargain. 

"Hey there," I said to the store owner, as I put all five of Lockhart's books on the counter.

"Hello, dearie, I thought I would be seeing you in today. Let's cut to the chase, 30 galleons for the lot."

"Sounds perfect." I paid and walked quickly back to the Leaky Cauldron.

I had 20 galleons left over to put into a sock at the bottom of my trunk. It was my rainy day fund. I hoped that I could collect enough money so that I could just disappear and never see the Malfoy Family again.

I learned two things that day, I would be in trouble if Master Malfoy found out that I was hanging with the Weasley's and that I was a good liar.

I wanted to keep hanging out with the Weasley's, but I was afraid to, I knew that they were the only family that had been nice to me. It was the only thing keeping me sane.

So I made a decision, right then, that I would not let Master Malfoy dictate who I hung out with or who my friends would be.

Fred waited for me in the Great Hall, his arms wrapped around himself. 

“Hi,” I said, surprised.

“Where did you go this morning?”

“My foster parents like to save a few galleons so they send me out shopping when there are deals on various things that I need.”

“Gotcha, well Percy has been bombarding me with how much he wants to teach you a cleaning spell so I finally said that I would come and find you.” Fred rolled his eyes.

“Sure, come with me to the Slytherin common room. I just need to change and put my bags in my room.”

He fell in line beside me. “I can take one of those, they look heavy.”

“Thanks.” I gave him my new robes.

I changed into my Weasley sweater and jeans and pulled my hair back into a ponytail.

“Alright Percy, I’m ready to learn the spell,” I said as Fred and I ambled out of the Gryffindor portraithole. 

“Finally. Let’s do this.” He got up from one of the comfy armchairs, took off his small glasses and closed his book with a snap. “I know you clean dishes for your foster family and my mom taught me this spell when I was twelve.” He took out his wand from his back pocket and stated, “Lava acetabula.” The dish that he used to eat the reminisce of fudge was now sparkling clean.

“You don’t know how much time this is going to save me at home,” I said, relieved.

For the rest of the morning, we practiced this spell until I got it down. “Thanks so much, Percy.”

Percy’s cheeks had a red tint to them. “You are welcome, I want to help as much as I can.”

“Now can we do something more fun?” George asked, he looked at us. He sat upside down on a chair in front of the roaring fire. 

“This was fun,” Percy and I said at the same time and laughed. 

“Let’s get you out of here so you don’t catch the disease that Percy has that he thinks studying is fun.”

George pulled me down to the quidditch pitch and laughed as I tried to catch apples and hit them with the beaters bat. I got pretty good. By the time we all came in for dinner, we were soaked. Percy and I dried off everyone with a clothes drying spell. 

I fell into a deep sleep with a smile on my face. 

I rose early the next morning and read with the fire ablaze. Someone pounded on the Slytherin common room door and I opened it, in strode, Fred, George and Percy. 

“Hey guys.” I smiled. 

“What are we going to do today?” Fred asked.

“I was just going to sit here and read.”

“Boring,” George said.

“I think that’s perfect.” Percy said.

“We will be trying to get the squid to transfigure into something while you are reading then.” Fred said.

We spent the morning reading, every so often there would be a bang or a squish from the twins, but it was a comforting noise somehow. The afternoon passed by quickly as we stepped outside into the crisp air and played quidditch. I was becoming better at hitting the apples thrown at me. 

“Good, I thought you were becoming a Percy clone with all that reading.”

“That’s funny, no. I love reading though, you should try it sometime.” I hit an apple hard at Fred who narrowly avoided it. 

“Hey!” He laughed. 

“Good shot,” George said. 

We wandered back up to the castle. 

As I read in the common room a tap on the window startled me.

I swiveled my head around, making sure I was the only one in the common room. The tapping continued. 

Comfort flapped outside weighed down by the falling snow. I gasped and let her in. She squawked. “I’m sorry, Comfort.”

Attached to her was a letter tied with blue ribbon.

_ Little Dandelion, _

_ My love! Happy Christmas! _

_ Do you want to come to my house for a long weekend? We haven’t had a relaxing weekend together in ages. _

_ I’ll be by at six tomorrow. _

_ UC _

I squealed, he was right. I needed this, especially with my favorite person in the whole world.

I flew over to one of the tables that had Hogwarts stationary on it for writing letters. 

_ Uncle Corban, _

_ Thanks so much!  _

_ Yes, please! _

_ LD _

Fred, George and I played exploding snap the next day. 

“Hey, I have to leave for a few days. My Uncle is coming to pick me up.”

“I thought you didn’t have any family?” George said, not taking his eyes off the board.

“I don’t. This is one of my foster parent’s brothers who took pity on me.”

“When will you be back?” Fred frowned at me.

“Monday or Tuesday.”

“It’s going to be so boring without you!” Fred flopped back on the Slytherin couch watching the squid swim lazily in the lake. 

“I think you’ll survive.”

Uncle Corban strode up to the castle with open arms. He wrapped his strong arms around me and squeezed. 

“I have a surprise for you.” He wrapped one arm around me as we stepped closer to the outskirts of Hogwarts. The warmth swept from him into me as we apparated. 

“I know you don’t like that. Let’s get inside and get you settled.” He shouldered the bag that I carried for the weekend. He opened the front door. “Go get changed into something comfortable.”

I nodded and smiled. This was more of a home to me than the manor was. My shoulders relaxed and the knot in my chest loosened as I floated up the white carpeted stairs. I opened the door to the closet with a squeak and waved my wand at it to fix it.  _ That was certainly annoying.  _

I rummaged through the drawer of sweatpants and sweatshirts until I found my favorite leggings.

I shimmied out of my wet outer clothes. I heard a snicker from behind me as I put the leggings on. I gasped and tried to cover myself, embarrassed that he saw my bare body. 

“Don’t be ashamed, sorry to frighten you. I just came up to get part of your surprise and I saw you fixing the closet door. You are the best.”

My cheeks turned red as I pulled my favorite Weird Sisters shirt over my head. “Thanks.”

“Now come on. I can’t wait any longer.”

“Alright.” He followed me downstairs. 

“It’s in the library.” He led me in by the small of the back.

I gasped. Before me, gleamed a beautiful piano. “Oh my, thanks so much.”

“You like it?” He asked, nervously. 

“Like it? I love it!” I squealed and threw my arms around him.

“Good, you are the most important thing to me and I want you to know that.”

“Thanks Uncle Corban. Now it only seems right, what do you want to hear?” I sat down on the bench, the gleam squeaked and I smirked.

“Was that you?” Uncle Corban mockingly scolded me.

“No. It was the piano.” I giggled.

“Sure blame the thing that can’t talk back.” He laughed. “What was that song? The last song of the concert, the one that you got really into?”

“That’s called Freedom.” I glanced down at the keys.

“What is it Little Dandelion?” He asked, concern in his voice.

“I got punished for showing too much of my personality.” I tinkled at the keys while I waited for his response.

I started to play when I thought he wouldn’t answer. He clasped my hands at the piano so the eerily silence that followed was almost defining. 

“Look at me.”

I did as I was told.

“You never have to hide your personality here. I am never going to rat you out.” He pulled me in for another hug.

“Thank you!” I sniffled. 

“Remember, no crying sad tears.” He poked me in the ribs.

I laughed as he continued to tickle me. “If you don’t stop I won’t be able to play this song.”

“Remember I want you to play with personality. Let yourself go, you are safe here.”

I nodded and started to play.

I closed my eyes, the lull of the music transported me high above the Earth. 

_ I flew high above everything, the sun beat down on my wings. I didn’t mind, the warmth a nice change from the ice I had been carrying around in my stomach.  _

_ The houses and trees like toothpicks to my eyes.  _

_ My problems seemed so small.  _

_ I flew to all the places I wanted to see. _

_ The small villages up in the mountains. _

_ The small house by the lake.  _

_ The wonders of the open sky, nothing holding me back or holding me down. _

_ I soared. _

I played the last chords as the vision faded away; my eyes wet with tears and Uncle Corban clapped behind me. 

“Wow! You are so talented, where did you learn to play like that?”

“Master Malfoy had a tutor come in when we were younger. Draco can play the violin. He kept up the lessons even after the big transition. He wanted me to play at his parties. He hasn’t asked me yet and I don’t know if I will now. I embarrassed him.”

“Well you don’t embarrass me! A rise to his voice. “I love that you get so into it.” Uncle Corban said.

“Thanks.” I blushed.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” He fished in his pocket and slid out a black rectangular box.

I opened it with shaking hands. Inside was a gold necklace with a “Y” on it. My eyes filled with tears. I fell into Uncle Corban’s arms. 

“Happy tears?”

“So happy!” I responded against his shoulder.

“I’m glad, you deserve to cry happy tears.” His warm, protective arms interlaced my small frame. 

“May I?”

I nodded and I turned around. I pulled my hair up so he could have easier access. 

I was sure he saw the cuts and bruises that were still healing.

“I want to protect you even more.” He planted a kiss to my head. “I want to heal your wounds.”

“I know, but these weekends away are life-saving.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

He pulled back and gazed at me with the necklace afixed around my throat. “Beautiful. You already were though.”

I smiled. 

“This is to remind you that you always have someone on your side that I am always close to your heart. If you touch it with your finger, I can feel it and I’ll send you an owl to make sure you are okay.”

“What if I hit it accidentally? I don’t want to be a burden.”

His hands came on both sides of my face. “You could never be a burden. And you won’t. It’s only to your finger that it will react, you have to hold it there for three seconds as well. I have one that will burn slightly when you touch it.” He unbuttoned his shirt by one or two and showed me an identical chain with an ‘A’ on it “I can take mine and yours will heat up so you know that I am there with you.”

“Thanks Uncle Corban.”

“Now, play something else!”

“Of course!” I started to play Christmas music. 

Uncle Corban sat down on one of the cozy armchairs and started to read. 

As the snow and the temperature fell outside, I never felt warmer. 


End file.
